Push
by Blue-Kool-Aid
Summary: Explore the dark of Damon and Stefan's past with Katherine and see how it all unfolds in the present as both brothers battle for Elena's love, still haunted by the woman who broke them. D/E - primary; D/S/K; S/E; D/S/E. Set directly after 1.21. R&R.
1. The Confession

Title: Push  
Rating: M (language, violence, and sexual situations)  
Pairing: Damon Salvatore & Elena Gilbert  
I don't own these characters.

A/N: Hello, all. This is my first _Vampire Diaries _fic, based on the television show. It's just a short fic, only one or two more chapters will follow this one. Thanks for taking the time to read and please enjoy! Reviews and constructive criticism always welcome. :)

* * *

Push  
Chapter I: The Confession

_And I don't know if I've ever been really loved  
By a hand that's touched me.  
_–Matchbox 20, "Push"

* * *

"Hello, Elena," I said, before she had even fully stepped into my house. I felt my lips curl into a sardonic smile as I slowly turned around, one hand delicately grasping the glass of straight whiskey. I gave it a slight swirl and placed the glass at my mouth and sipped lightly.

Elena regarded me with disdain as she walked towards me from the entrance. "Is Stefan here?" she asked, looking around the room. She sighed and pushed a hand through her dark locks, dishevelling her hair for a moment, before it fell back into place perfectly.

"No," I answered casually, meeting her in the middle of the room. "He's gone to hunt and won't be back until morning."

She shot me a panicked look. "Hunt?"

I felt the mischievous grin on my face before I could stop it from fully forming. "Oh, yes. But don't worry – only rabbits, foxes...and various other woodland creatures. You know Stefan."

"I thought he only needed to do that – "

I interrupted her. "He's still a recovering addict, you know. We wouldn't want him going over the edge again, now would we?" I rolled my eyes at Stefan's precautions and muttered, "Goody-good." I set my glass down on one of the mahogany tables that furnished the main room.

"I see...well, in that case, I guess I'll come back tomorrow," Elena said. Her soft brown eyes locked on my blue ones for a moment. She quickly averted her gaze and turned to leave.

I appeared in front of her in an instant, startling her.

"Damon!" she snapped. "Don't do that! Just because you have that ability doesn't mean you have to use it to scare the hell out of me every time!" Her angry expression softened when she noticed that I was staring at her quite openly.

"What?" she asked, her voice lighter than a moment ago. She took a step back; I must have been too close for her own personal comfort.

"You knew that Stefan would be out tonight," I accused. Of course, I didn't really know that, but I did like to play my games – especially with her. It made my pulse race and my blood flow every time and it was a feeling that I rather enjoyed. It made me feel _alive_.

I was surprised when her mouth hung open for a moment. She realized what she was doing and quickly closed it, not being able to think of a response. She finally shrugged, as if to herself, and nodded in my direction.

"You're right, Damon. I wanted to talk to _you_," Elena admitted, meeting my eyes and searching my face.

"Oh, well _this_ should be good," I replied, smirking. "Pray tell, Elena, what do we have to talk about?"

"Us," she replied bluntly, and I was momentarily taken aback but quickly regained my composure. I wandered away from her and sat down on the couch.

"My, I wasn't expecting this conversation yet! I mean, I wasn't sure if we were ready to take the next step, but apparently we are. Stefan be damned!" I said, chuckling.

She took a seat next to me and probed me with her eyes. I hated when she did that – it made me feel a little too exposed, even though I knew I should be perfectly well-versed in hiding my true feelings.

"It's about what Isobel said," Elena began carefully, still regarding me with that same expression.

"I'm sorry, Elena, but that lady is out of her freakin' mind – birth mother or no, if you get what I'm saying here." I decided to meet her strange expression with one of my own, but found myself unable to tear my eyes away from her delicate face.

"She said that _you_ were in love with _me_! How the hell am I supposed to ignore that? How the hell is _Stefan_ supposed to ignore that?" Elena shot back, finally moving her eyes to gaze down at her lap.

"Did you just completely ignore my last comment? Isobel is _insane_," I emphasized. "She's not right in the head!" I made an obscene gesture to show what I meant.

"Damon, as...crazy as Isobel seems, she's also very intelligent. I could see that right away," Elena argued, her nostrils flaring. "Can't you be serious for one damn moment in your life?"

"I'm being perfectly serious, Elena, and let me tell you right now: I am _not_ in love with you." Even as the words left my mouth, I began to feel a strange knot form in the pit of my stomach. "So if I were you, I would just stop pressing this issue and go on home so you can be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in the morning for your oh-so-daring and romantic boyfriend, okay?" I reached over for my drink and took a gulp that almost left me sputtering.

Elena flashed another look at me. "I don't want to ruin our friendship...or whatever we like to call _this_." She made a grand gesture to encompass all that we had been through in the past few weeks and then stood up, straightening her clothes.

The knot grew as I stood up to escort her to the door and an overwhelming sense of..._something_ crashed into me, over me, and around me. I tried to push it down but it wouldn't go away, especially not with Stefan's earlier words haunting me: _This will not be a repeat of 1864_, he had said, leaving me momentarily cold.

I shook the thoughts away and took Elena by the elbow, leading her to the door. Something terrible was beginning to gnaw at me. All she had wanted was honesty, and I seemed perfectly incapable of delivering even that. I knew I had trust issues...but I really did trust her, especially after she came back for me in the tomb.

The tomb. I felt my chest constrict tightly as the images of that night floated back. The tomb where Katherine had not been. My Katherine...who had never truly loved me, nor had any desire to see me again. My heart had ached for her for over a century...and now it was laced with a different kind of ache. The one that occurs when that organ is ripped from your chest and squeezed until the blood stops flowing.

It was beginning to seem that women spelled out only one thing for me, and that one thing was doom.

"Damon!"

I came back from my thoughts at Elena's frantic voice. I refocused my vision on her, shaking my head. Since when had I turned into such a contemplative sap? I thought I knew the answer, but refused to acknowledge it and pushed it away fiercely.

"Damon," Elena said again, this time touching my arm lightly. "Are you okay?"

Her genuine concern hammered away at the wall I had built around myself and it was then I decided that nothing could be accomplished by lying. If this hurt her and Stefan, then so be it; but if their love was strong enough, they would be able to get through it. Why should I be confined to the side, as always, only to watch the love of others bloom and grow, while mine lay untouched in a shallow grave, cold, hard and untrusting?

I opened my mouth to say it, to say the words I knew I must say...and no sound came out. I curled my hands into fists. I couldn't do it. My weakness in this moment was truly pathetic.

"I can't do this." The words left my mouth before I even had time to fully process them. I had only said those words once, in 1864, and now they rang clearly through my mind, echoing loudly and unkindly, pulling me into the dark places I had fought so hard to avoid in the past.

Elena stood directly in front of me, still, only a few feet away, brown eyes flashing. "I need to know if there is any truth to Isobel's words," she said again. Confronting me like this was the only way that I would ever answer any of her questions and I knew that she would not leave until I satisfied her with an honest answer.

"It's been a long night, Elena. You should leave. Go home, get some rest, and your head will be clear of all of this nonsense in the morning. Understand?" I looked away briefly as I willed my composure to return.

"So it's just nonsense, then?" Elena pressed, taking a long step forward so she was mere inches from me. She was so close and her scent wafted up through my nostrils, stronger than before; a sweet feminine scent tinted slightly with something floral – but underneath that, something even better lingered: the rustic smell of her blood.

The urge to hide from myself rose up almost immediately, but I fought it down. I licked my lips and stared down at her, pushing a hand through my black hair before letting my arms lay limply at my sides in a gesture of utter helplessness.

"Why won't you deny it?" Elena whispered, searching my eyes. "Why aren't you telling me that it's all a lie Isobel made up to play with my mind?"

I suddenly curled my hand into a fist and slammed it into the table beside us, leaving a sizeable dent and scattering various things to the floor. My hand bled in several places, but I didn't care. Elena started at the violence, but did not back away from me.

"You're not her!" I growled suddenly. I could feel the fury and anguish rising in my chest. "_You_ are _not_ Katherine!" Something burned at the back of my eyes.

Her own eyes widened for a moment, then softened as she regarded my pain. "Damon – "

"Yet I find myself in love with you!" I yelled, cutting her off. I hit my hand on the table again, the frustration of the situation rising in me. "And I would _die _for you, Elena...just like I died for _her_." It was something I had realized a long time ago but had refused to acknowledge until this moment. I could feel myself begin to shake as I finally grasped the meaning of my own words.

I was in love with Elena Gilbert and I was about to ruin everything.


	2. The Memory

Thank you, everyone, for the kind reviews! : ) They are very appreciated! I'm rather happy with the positive response, so here's the next chapter. Enjoy, and please let me know what you think!

* * *

Push  
Chapter II: The Memory

_These foolish games are tearing me apart,  
And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart.  
_-Jewel, "Foolish Games"

* * *

Elena gasped, my admission obviously shocking her into momentary speechlessness. She stared at me blankly, trying to regain some of her composure. She came to life after a few moments and fumbled a response, nothing more than a few choked words coming out, so quiet that even I couldn't hear them.

"Leave," I suddenly spat, unable to handle the stress of this prolonged confrontation any longer. "Get the hell out of here!" I had lowered my voice, trying to make it sound as threatening as possible.

"Damon," Elena finally said, so softly that my name came out almost as only one syllable. She reached out, closing her hand over mine tightly, the one that I had injured moments earlier. It was mostly healed now, but I stiffened in response to her touch, unsure of what to do. Just that simple gesture...I could recall no memory of anyone holding my hand like that in my entire lifetime – not even Katherine had done this.

Katherine. I had just admitted my love for Elena, yet the woman of my past would not leave me alone.

* * *

"_Do you like that, Damon?" Katherine asked me mischievously as she trailed her hand up my bared chest._

_The only response I could give her was my own laboured breathing. I was lying back on the bed as she straddled my waist, one of her hands clamped tightly onto my arm, holding me down. I closed my eyes momentary as a feeling of pure bliss encapsulated me._

"_Mmm, that's what I thought." Katherine bent down to kiss me hungrily, claiming me roughly as she was won to do. She pinned both of my hands above my head as she continued to ravage my mouth, her lithe tongue darting across my lips, and then thrusting itself inside._

_I groaned softly into her and thrust my hips upward. I felt her smile against my mouth briefly, then she pulled away to look at me._

_Truly, she was beautiful. The ray of sunshine coming through the window touched the crown of her head and streaked its way through her dark curls, which fell mercilessly around her face, making her look like an angel. _

"_I love you," I said, meaning the words fully. She was the only one I wanted to be with. There would never be any other who could replace her, and I planned to be with her the rest of my life...however long that ended up being._

"_And I love the way you blush when we're about to be intimate," Katherine smiled._

"_I don't blush," I scoffed, but I could feel my face grow slightly warm._

"_Not just your face," Katherine elaborated. "But various parts of your body...especially your chest and shoulders when you're aroused." She dropped the words lightly, but everything that rolled off her tongue was strangely erotic._

"_Is that so?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as she traced a finger up and down my chest. I could feel my heart beat speed up._

"_Oh, yes. I love the way your blood spreads throughout your whole body." She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. "Your scent...is simply divine. It's masculine, of course, and musky. But underneath that, there's a slight tinge of something sweet...something I can't identify. But I'm sure it's something only I would notice in any case. Simply put, Damon Salvatore, you are delicious." She leaned down and kissed my mouth again, this time a little more gently._

_I couldn't help but laugh. "You make me sound like the dashing hero straight out of a silly fairy tale."_

"_Maybe you are, love," Katherine said, brushing a piece of my hair out of my eyes. She was silent for a moment, and then said, "You know, you and Stefan are a lot alike." She raised one eyebrow as if in contemplation._

_The sound of my younger brother's name falling from her lips enraged me, like it did every time she brought him up. I was well aware of the rules – of how we were to "share" Katherine – but that did not make me like them any better or even agree with them. _

_Swallowing hard, I demanded, "How is that?" I wonder if she knew how big of a shutdown it was to talk about my brother while she was currently straddling the most sensitive part of my body._

"_Well, neither of you had been with a woman before me," she replied, her eyes glinting with something I hadn't noticed before. "And, being the chivalrous Salvatore men you are, both of you, at first, refused to bed me."_

"_Katherine," I said softly, " I really don't want to hear about my brother and how you sleep with him also. I would prefer to pretend that it does not happen."_

_She was off of me in a flash, suddenly standing beside me. I moved to sit up, but she simply pushed me down with one hand. "Ah, Damon. That's another thing you have in common with Stefan. Both of you have a hard time accepting the rules of my courtship. I really did think that they were quite clear."_

"_I understand them perfectly, it's just...I mean...he's my brother, Katherine, and to be quite frank, I do not appreciate him even casting a single glance in your direction, never mind putting his hands on you and doing the things that you and I do." I shuddered at the mere thought. Stefan. I did love him but he would not end up with Katherine in the end, I would make sure of that. I wasn't sure what my plan of action would be, but I simply could not share her._

"_Stefan had me first, you know," Katherine said casually, her eyes boring into mine. "So I would appreciate it if you didn't forget that, Damon."_

_I opened my mouth in surprise. "I thought that I –"_

"_This conversation is over, Damon." She moved towards me like a predator. "I think that we need to just forget about this for a while and you...you should enjoy me while you can, am I right?" She took my arm and pulled me from the bed so that I was standing in front of her._

_Before I could protest or argue, she was moving her lips over mine. She pushed me with both hands so that I was backed into the wall, and I noticed her movements becoming more frantic. Her lips trailed from my jaw down to my neck, where she lingered, licking and sucking. Finally, right below my ear, she whispered, "I forgot to mention that I was hungry."_

_And then she bit, leaving me shuddering against the wall, in that strange mix of pleasure and pain that I had become so accustomed to, and that I had even learned to enjoy. I could not wait for her to turn me so that we could continue to be together._

_Clearly, these were only the disillusioned thoughts of a fool in love._

* * *

I inhaled sharply as Elena's hand suddenly let go of mine and trailed up to my neck, startling me out of my memory and bringing me back to the reality of the present situation. It rested lightly on the pulse there, then moved to my jaw and up to my cheek. She laid her palm flat against it, the pad of her thumb caressing it gently.

"I love Stefan," she told me quietly. That was plain enough in her eyes, never mind the words which accompanied it. I knew it pained her to look at me, but she continued to do so, never letting go of my eyes

It stung. The words were as painful as a blow to the stomach. The burning at the back of my eyes threatened to morph itself into tears, just another weakness I could add to the ever-growing list. I really didn't think it would hurt this much. I could literally have any girl I wanted, mind-control or no, but of course, the one girl I did want...she was just out of my reach, and was again, falling into the arms of my damned brother. I was so anguished that I almost missed her next words.

"But I've fallen in love with you, too, Damon," Elena finished, her own tears fresh on her face. "I would do the same things to protect you as I would for Stefan; _anything_, I would do anything for you." She moved her thumb across my bottom lip and looked up at me. The sincerity in her eyes was overwhelming.

I felt my eyes widen in shock, and took two steps back. I would have to get away from her. Never had I expected her to have feelings for me. For one of the first times in my life, I found myself speechless, and instead of her own confession completely obliterating the walls I had built to keep people like her out, I felt the barriers begin to build themselves again. I was not equipped to deal with this, so I lashed out in the only way I knew how: with threats.

"You should go," I growled lowly, "before you make me do something I really regret."


	3. The Attraction

Once again, thank-you everyone for the kind words! : ) You're making me blush! Here's the next chapter! I really thought this was only going to be a three chapter story, but I keep thinking of things to write, so it's obviously going to be longer than that now. Thanks for the positive reviews and I look forward to hearing more from all of you wonderful people! : ) Enjoy!

* * *

Push  
Chapter III: The Attraction

_That's when I knew I could never have you  
I knew that before you did  
Still I'm the one who's stupid  
And there's this burning  
Like there's always been  
I've never been so alone  
And I've never been so alive.  
_-Third Eye Blind, "Motorcycle Drive By"

* * *

Elena only continued to regard me, a challenge clear in her eyes. "You won't hurt me, Damon. I _know _that. Don't try to scare me off because you're afraid of what you just admitted." She boldly stepped forward again, so that our faces were only inches away from each other.

I was instantly reminded of the dance that she and I had shared at the Miss Mystic Falls competition; like then, electricity flowed steadily between us, heating the air with something quite like I had never felt before.

I said the word only once – as much to warn her as to warn myself – the smoothness of it leaving my lips burning as it rolled off my tongue: "Stefan."

The moment it left my mouth, my eyes met the fire in hers and the heat between us expanded. I found myself inhaling and exhaling far more often than I needed to. My very soul, if I even had one left, was crumbling at a rapid rate as I fought for some kind of control. I glanced around wildly, looking for any way out of the frightening situation. My head pounded and I could feel a dull ache spreading up through my belly, igniting all the nerve endings in my body.

Elena's face was wrenched with guilt momentarily, as if contemplating Stefan and what exactly he meant to her. I knew he meant everything and I had no right to destroy that. But then her hand moved to the back of my head and she pressed down gently. "I need to know how it feels with you, Damon," she said simply.

The alarm bells in my head rang loudly and clearly. I felt so unlike my usual calm and collected self in this moment that I was sure that someone had possessed me momentarily without my knowledge. Katherine was the only person in the world who had the ability to cause me to completely lose my senses. Clearly, it was something Elena was able to do, too.

And as much as it secretly shamed me, I complied to the gentle pressure of Elena's hands on the back of my head, lowering my face to an inch from hers. I hovered briefly, contemplating if I should actually do it, then, with quick decision, placed my lips over Elena's, kissing her softly. I could feel the unfiltered passion pass from me to her in those few moments where we were joined at the lips.

It was by far the best kiss I had ever had.

And when I felt her respond with the same passion, she was taught with fear, one hand pressing on the back of my head, the other gripping my leather jacket like a steel trap. I could tell that it was not the kind of fear that someone feels when they are in danger. No – it was the kind of fear that followed a specific knowledge. Like the knowledge that what you had just done was so perfect and so right in that moment, but so wrong in all other contexts. The fear that you must let go – but you can't.

No sarcastic or ignorant comment could save me now. I had just kissed my brother's girlfriend like she was my long lost love, and she had complied willingly – initiated it, even. All we could do was stare at each other in the moment that passed after the kiss. She finally pulled away when she felt warm and wet droplets hit her cheek, which, I realized in disbelief, were my own tears.

At this startling revelation, my eyes became completely flooded and I tried to blink them away quickly. Pathetic. Women made me truly pathetic. Once again, I found myself standing there, unable to do anything. I couldn't even remember the last time I cried and now here I was, obliterating the moment completely. I felt like the kiss had emotionally and physically drained me.

"Damon," Elena murmured to the corner of my mouth, threading her hands through my hair, "it's okay." She shifted her position and wrapped her arms around me; embracing me much like how she did on the night I found out that Katherine was not in the sealed tomb.

Something inside me crumbled and I finally – _finally _– gave into my wretched emotions and returned her embrace. I lowered my head into the crook of her neck, sobbing quietly into her warm, soft skin. I honestly didn't know what to do with myself. Everything that had just happened sincerely screamed the opposite of me and I thought maybe I was going to go completely mad.

I could barely even hear my own thoughts as Elena murmured softly to me, rubbing circles into my back. I felt..._safe _with her – like I didn't have to hide anything. My head whirled, nothing made sense, and I was certain of only two things: that I loved her and that I wanted her.

I finally pulled away from her, not even sure if I could look her straight in the eye. But she forced me to, holding my head between her hands. I noticed that her eyes were slightly red, too.

"All your life," she began quietly, "you've been bested by Stefan. I get that. I could never possibly know how badly it hurt to get your heart torn to bits every time Stefan romanced the woman you loved. But what I do know is what it's like to be in love with two people at the same time, Damon. And though I'm not Katherine, I see her curse. I can't...choose to _not_ love one and then love the other. It doesn't work like that." She cast her eyes downward.

I reached out and brushed a piece of hair out of her eyes. "That's where you differ from Katherine, Elena. She loved _neither _of us and didn't care how much it could hurt one or the other in the end." I gathered her close to me, overcome by another powerful memory.

* * *

"_Damon," Katherine growled, "do you not love me?"_

_I blinked at her in the mirror, confused, as I buttoned up my shirt. "What do you speak of?"_

"_How dare you threaten Stefan!"_

_My eyes suddenly became cold as I turned around. "He dared to infer that you would belong to only him for the rest of eternity, when clearly I would never allow such a thing to transpire!" I spat, growing frustrated as days would pass and I would not see Katherine._

"_Don't be a jealous fool!" Katherine snapped. "I love you both – you know that!"_

"_How can I," I began, venom unconsciously dripping into my voice, "be expected to share you? With my own brother, no less? Don't you think that's a bit twisted?"_

_Katherine had me pinned to the floor in an instant, her eyes blood red, teeth bared, and face distorted. "You will not dare to question my love or my actions, Damon Salvatore. If you really loved me, you would not constantly bring this up! Stefan, too, is uncomfortable with it, but at least he has the audacity to keep it to himself! I will not choose one or the other, do you understand? Us three will spend a happy eternity together, for I refuse to give either of you up! I cannot choose who I fall in love with!"_

"_If you really loved either of us, Katherine," I began boldly, "you __**would **__choose!"_

_Katherine picked me up from the floor by my collar and slammed me violently into the wall, causing the mirror to shatter into several pieces. One hand gripped my throat tightly and the other pinned my arm against the wall. I couldn't move and I could barely breathe._

"_If you ever bring up this issue again, love, I really don't know what I'll do. You see, I have a bit of a temper." Her voice was low and threatening, and it was the first time I had ever truly been afraid of her. I had willingly shared my blood and drank hers, and entrusted her with my very life when this exchange took place – because I loved her and thought she loved me, too, and would never hurt me purposefully._

_Right now she was hurting me: physically, as I felt my strength begin to dissipate, and emotionally, as a tiny piece of my trust in her broke away and shattered._

"_Katherine," I gasped, "you're...ah...you're hurting me."_

_She leaned in, the dark curls cascading down her shoulders, as she tightened her grip and smiled maliciously at me. "I know, Damon."_

_And then her teeth were at my throat and I was forced, once again, into the hazy existence of purgatory._

* * *

In the time that I had thought about this, Elena had guided me to my room, and had sat me on the bed. She sat beside me, concern etched into her features. She took my hand and stroked it. "I'm sorry."

My head shot up. "For what?"

"For causing you so much pain – for reopening old wounds. It's just that...I truly do love you...and you have a right to know it."

"Oh, Elena," I murmured, "that means more to me than you'll ever know." I suddenly felt a surge of refreshment shoot through my body. I attributed it to the newfound openness between us, even if it was meant to be short-lived. If I was being honest with myself, how long would I stay this way? I wasn't exactly known for being the chivalrous white knight; no, I was usually the one whom the damsel needed rescuing from.

A part of me wished that the white knight could come back, for I had been that person once.

I exhaled and looked at her, sitting there with her hands in her lap, looking so vulnerable. Hell, even I was vulnerable right now. I wanted to be completely honest with her, but parts of me were having a lot of trouble coming to terms with that.

Elena startled me by suddenly taking my face between her hands, drawing me closer to her. For the second time that night, our lips met, and I leaned into her, helpless to her allure. One hand lay flat against my comforter, the other snaked behind her to press into her back, holding her there.

She let out a small gasp of surprise as my tongue touched her lips then slid stealthily into her mouth. I found myself showering her with bold, yet precise, open-mouth kisses. I pulled away momentarily, gasping. "I'm sorry," I apologized, and I thought it sounded truly sincere, "that was too much too soon."

Elena's cheeks reddened. "No, it was...sexy," she admitted. The way she looked at me then shot a surge of lust through my body that went straight to my groin. I moved closer to her, feeling empowered. Our gazes locked and I couldn't look away.

"Elena," I whispered, kissing her below the earlobe.

She placed a hand on my shoulder to stop me. "Damon, I need to..." She stopped, clearly at a loss for words. "Earlier, when I said that I needed to know what it felt like with you..." She cleared her throat, and was suddenly squeezing my wrist tightly. "I meant _everything_."

We held each other's eyes, the silent conversation between us serious. I wanted her, there was no question about that. And I loved her...so it's not like I would be doing it out of lust. I would never use her that way.

There was also the issue of Stefan. And that was something that could not or would not be taken lightly.


	4. The Longing

Hello, all! Thank you once again for your wonderful reviews and thanks to everyone who made this a favourite or added it to their alert list! That really means a lot to me. : )

That said, I wanted to post this next chapter before the season finale tonight! Eek – it's gonna be epic! But...knowing the CW, there will probably be a massive cliff-hanger, haha. ; ) I also just wanted to clarify that what happens in the finale will not affect the direction of this story, since I have it pretty much wrapped up (at least in my head).

The next chapter probably won't be out for a few more days, so just sit tight and enjoy this one! Feedback and constructive criticism are always welcome! So happy reading & I hope you enjoy the finale tonight! : )

* * *

Push  
Chapter IV: The Longing

_They press their lips against you  
And you love the lies they say  
And I tried so hard to reach you  
But you're falling anyway.  
-_The Goo Goo Dolls, "Acoustic No. 3"

* * *

"_So kind of you to join us, Damon," Katherine's voice floated from the open room, warming my heart. But I was slightly puzzled; who else could possibly be in there? As soon as I stepped in, the door slammed shut, as if by some unknown force, but I knew that it had been Katherine._

_My lovely woman. We had gone weeks now without any problems. I had obeyed her and had not brought up the problem of Stefan. But that, of course, didn't mean it wasn't always lurking somewhere in the back of my mind. I suddenly felt that same uneasiness pool within me as I glanced around the room, eyeing the well-maintained furnishings._

"_Katherine? What's going on?" I stepped around the corner that separated the sleeping quarters from the door and was shocked to find her and my brother locked in a passionate embrace, one of her hands weaved roughly into his hair, holding his head back and exposing the smooth expanse of his neck. His eyes were blank as she gripped him, holding him with her other arm around the waist._

"_We are merely partaking in a little early evening delight and thought it would be wonderful if you were to join us, isn't that right, Stefan?" Katherine's eyes bore into Stefan's and he nodded his head in response. He looked paler than usual and I could see the bite marks on his neck._

"_Yes, Katherine. It would be wonderful," he repeated, sounding slightly dazed. His brown hair was tousled erratically, from Katherine's current grip...and from God knows what else._

"_What the hell?" I growled. "This is completely inappropriate!"_

_Katherine sighed exaggeratedly. "Oh, Damon! Don't make me subdue you, too! I thought you, of all people, would be completely up for this. After all, you are the more daring and adventurous one, are you not? I thought we could all...get to know one another better." Her eyes were suddenly alight with a lust I had never seen before._

_I shifted uncomfortably, quickly averting my eyes from Stefan's half-naked form. He was clearly being compelled – not only was it evident in his voice and face, but I knew that this is something he would never agree to. As much as I hated the little bastard, at least his own sense of virtue seemed to sway in the right direction._

"_You know I would do anything for you, Katherine...but this...I can't do this," I said softly, looking up to meet her eyes, which were now full of rage. I instinctively took a step backward. I had told myself time and time again that I did not fear her, but sometimes she did things that sent tiny trills of adrenaline through, signalling me to run. But I would never run from her. Never._

"_You, Damon, will do as I ask." She let go of Stefan, who sank to the bed warily, his head in his hands. She strode over to me, so close that our noses were almost touching. "Undress," she demanded. When I made no move to do it, she began to unbutton my shirt as I stood there numbly. I didn't know what to do. I certainly could not disobey her directly._

_Seconds later, the shirt fell to the floor and Katherine was kissing me roughly, both of her hands in my hair as she plundered my mouth and over again. My body began to twitch in response to her aggressiveness and suddenly an animal within me roared to life._

_I gasped and returned the favour, handling her just as roughly as she was handling me. I snarled lightly and backed her up until she was against a wall. The rush was overwhelming as my veins began to thirst for control and power. I began to trail my lips down her neck, licking and nipping, while one hand pinned her wrist against her side._

_She moaned softly, and her hands shot out, shaking herself loose of my grip as she pulled my hips tightly to hers. We both groaned at the sudden friction. "That's more like it," she breathed hotly into my ear, as her hand began to stroke me through my trousers. _

_A low moan from the bed cut into our session, both of us having forgotten about Stefan for a few moments. He had lifted his head up and was shaking away what appeared to be dizziness. Then his eyes found us in the compromising position we were in and his nostrils flared. "What the hell?" He shot to his feet._

_Katherine smiled sweetly at him. "I decided to give you another chance, love. I really don't like to make you do things – everyone should always have a choice, don't you agree?"_

"_Another chance?" Stefan asked, clearly confused. He quickly combed his fingers through his hair and shot a look of burning hatred in my direction. Despite myself, I found myself smirking at him, my lips curling into what felt like a somewhat malicious grin._

"_To join us," Katherine's voice said huskily. "It would be a shame if neither of you complied to my only wish, wouldn't it?" She stuck her lip out, pouting slightly, as she walked over to him, running the back of her hand lightly up and down his arm._

_Stefan was speechless as his eyes momentarily met mine again, this time, the hatred was gone, and outright fear was present. _

_I continued to smirk at him as I silently demanded him to comply to Katherine's demands, much to my own shame and shock. I would not be the one to disappoint Katherine and I realized that I could not say no to her, no matter how...disturbing the request. Of course, I assumed Stefan would back down from this particular situation, being the timid person he was, and I would have her all to myself._

_I realized I was wrong as he met my eyes again, dead on, and took Katherine's hand. They strode towards me, silently._

"_Mmm, that's what I thought, dear Stefan," Katherine said, smiling at him. Right in front of me, she placed her hand on Stefan's arm, and then pulled him towards her and kissed him roughly. I saw her tongue trace the edge of his lips and heard him moan quietly._

_I couldn't look away and felt slightly disgusted with myself for watching like I was._

_Katherine finally broke away from him and turned her attention back to me. "For now, Stefan, I need you to silence your brother so he doesn't wake up the rest of house."_

"_What are you talking about?" I asked. I could hear the edge creeping into my voice, and I fought the urge to back away._

_She ignored me and gestured to Stefan. "Stand behind him. Hold him still and put your hand over his mouth." She quirked an eyebrow, then turned her eyes on me. They were telling me not to be frightened of her._

_Stefan regarded her uneasily for a moment, I noted that his eyes wouldn't meet mine. Just how far was Stefan willing to go in order to please Katherine?_

_The answer came to me easily enough: as far as I would go._

"_What are you waiting for?" Katherine met Stefan's eyes and he quickly moved behind me, doing exactly what she asked. My back pressed against him, I could feel his heart hammering in his chest and was certain that mine was doing the exact same thing. His grip around my waist and his hand on my mouth was deadly, but I dared not say or do anything to upset my lady._

_I did hear his quiet whisper in my ear, though. "I'm sorry, brother."_

_He was sorry? He had nothing to apologize for, since I knew that I would do the exact same thing to him if asked, and maybe even a thousand times worse. I thought I felt my humanity slowly fading, but, I realized with a start, I didn't care as long as Katherine was by my side the entire way._

"_Just shut up," I whispered harshly against his hand._

"_Ah, very good," Katherine appraised as she stepped back, as if to admire her work. Then she said to me, "Don't worry, Damon, it will only hurt for a second and then you'll feel nothing but bliss." Her hands reached for my pants and she began to unbutton them._

_I heard Stefan's sharp intake of breath behind me as he clamped his arm tighter around my waist. His skin was just as heated as mine._

"_Do not, under any circumstances, let go of Damon," Katherine said softly to Stefan as she pulled my trousers down, but only enough to expose one of my hips. She was bent slightly now, almost kneeling. I couldn't help but groan against Stefan's hand as I felt her hot breath ghost over my still-clothed length._

_Despite my resolve to stop at nothing to please Katherine, something about this entire situation felt extremely wrong as I heard Stefan's shallow breathing behind me. He trembled slightly, and I instinctively knew that he had closed his eyes._

_Katherine kissed the skin of my hip and then moved her mouth up my side, running her hands up and down the insides of my thighs. I felt legs begin to tremble: in arousal or in fear; I did not know for certain, but I suspected that it may have been a bit of both. I could feel my pulse racing as her cool lips explored my heated skin. _

_After what seemed like an eternity of teasing, she stopped and placed her lips again at the juncture between my hip and leg. Her eyes flashed red suddenly, and she bit down hard, momentarily shocking me as she began to drink from me greedily._

_I let out a muffled scream against Stefan's hand. The pain, for some reason, was at least ten times more than it had been the previous times she had fed for me. Much to my own shock, I found that I wanted desperately to escape from the pain, but Stefan obeyed her command: he didn't let me go. I could feel him trembling just as much as I was._

_He continued to hold me there, even when my energy began to wane and I was murmuring muffled pleas for him to release me. My mind became hazy and I realized that she was definitely taking too much blood from me. The more she fed, though, the more I was able to ignore it. The world spun in front of me and the excruciating pain of the bite on that sensitive part of my body began to subside._

_Everything faded, including reality, as my eyes slipped closed and all I could feel was Katherine's soft hair between my fingers and Stefan's warm chest against my back._

_

* * *

_

"I want to," Elena continued, her eyes never leaving mine. "But I will be completely honest with Stefan. I will not lie to either of you. And I will not let you hurt each other." Her steady voice knocked me out of my reverie and I took her hand, holding it and feeling the softness of it against my own skin. "How could I have been so foolish to deny my feelings for you?" She pressed her forehead to mine and I found myself kissing her again, gently, cherishing it as much as I could.

I couldn't be so naive to believe that we would be together forever. If Stefan didn't tear my throat out first, I would have to leave. I would have to leave her behind. I swallowed hard and made a snap decision, then, and kissed her more hungrily as I pressed her into the bed. She lay back as I straddled either side of her hips with my legs and leaned down and poured myself into the moment – the least I could do.

I pressed my lips to her cheek, her jaw, and then her neck. Her hands were in my hair, running through and through and it felt indescribably blissful as she ignited all of the sensitive nerve endings in my scalp.

We both seemed to take a deep breath at the same time. I placed another chaste kiss on her lips and then looked down at her. "Are you sure?" I asked her huskily, my pulse and hers rapid, but beating in time with one another.

She cupped my cheek with her hand and then trailed it down my chest. "Yes, Damon. I've never been more certain of anything."


	5. The Passion

Good day, everyone! Thank you, once again, for the reviews, the favourites, and the alerts! I am truly amazed/touched. I'm so glad that many people enjoy this story! Sorry it took longer than usual for this chapter – I didn't get any time to work on it until yesterday! With that said, however, here it is and I hope you'll enjoy it. I also apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors. I did go through it thoroughly, but was also a bit more rushed than usual. :)

I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up, but more than likely within the week! :)

PS – The season finale was _amazing_. So many things happening all at once – can't wait for next season!

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Push  
Chapter V: The Passion

_So I put my arms around you, around you  
And I know that I'll be leaving soon.  
My eyes are on you, they're on you  
And you see that I can't stop shaking.  
I'm dancing in your room as if I was in the woods with you.  
_-Elisa, "Dancing"

_Then I'll see your face  
I know I'm finally yours  
I find everything I thought I lost before  
You call my name  
I come to you in pieces  
So you can make me whole_.  
-Red, "Pieces"

* * *

I smiled at her then, almost shyly, feeling the warmth of her hand against my chest. I lifted it from where it rested and kissed each of her fingertips lovingly. I was determined to show her how much I cared about her and how much she meant to me. I thought it might ease her mind from the enormity of the action I would have to take afterwards. I inhaled softly and tried to push those thoughts away as my eyes flickered up and down her face.

"I love you, Damon," Elena said, pulling my head towards hers again as she kissed me. I murmured back my own sentiments as our lips touched and I felt the heat of our passions connect. The spark between us was undeniable – I knew that – and I would just have to push all thoughts of Stefan and the infidelity of the situation out of my mind. My heart had not felt like this in 145 years - I could hear it sing to me as our lips moved against one another's and I felt that somehow, my humanity had come back, if only one little piece at a time.

I was shaken out of my musings when Elena's hand slipped under my black t-shirt and began to lightly stroke up and down, from my chest to my stomach, even as our mouths were still connected. I made a small sound of contentment and carefully closed my entire mouth over her bottom lip, sucking at it gently before she returned the motion and our tongues touched. I wanted to feel every part of her against me, and, seeking permission from her eyes, pulled her up for a moment so that I could remove her shirt. She complied, leaning into me and raising her arms above her head as I disentangled my own and pulled it off of her wordlessly. It fell to the floor in a quick silver motion, slithering to the hard wood floor and melting into a heap.

I gazed at her soft white skin for a moment, and her eyes shyly met mine, before I was pushing her down onto the bed again, my hands itching to feel every inch of that creamy whiteness. I had barely started what I had planned for her, when she reached out a hand and stopped me. Once again, our eyes met as she slid her hands under my shirt, feeling me and willing me to remove it. I did so quickly and swiftly, and soon it joined hers on the floor.

There was a brief moment where we just gazed at each other and then I bent down again, and I could feel her skin touch mine whenever I moved a little. I brushed some dark hair back from her face as I began to kiss her; first her jaw and then her neck. My lips lingered on the quick pulse there, and I savoured it – savoured the beat that signified life. I continued to kiss her, moving down her body, kissing the valley of her breasts and then down to her stomach, licking a fiery path to her navel, right to the waistband of her jeans.

Before I had even realized it, they were unzipped and I was tugging them off of her legs, where they met the growing pile of clothes on the floor.

"Damon," she moaned softly as I dipped my tongue into her navel, and she arched up, allowing my mouth somewhat better access. I moved back up her body, teasing her as she groaned in frustration helplessly. I was just about to kiss her lips again when she held up a finger, promptly stopping me. Her hands reached up and they begin to make handy work of my jeans, which she succeeded in removing without a problem. I could hear the snap of my button and then the slowness of the zipper scraping downwards.

Her warm hand that close to my need...it almost sent me over the edge. She seemed to sense this, because in a few short moments, _I _was the one on my back. Smirking lightly at her, and meeting her lustful gaze right on, I said, "I like a woman in control."

"And I like a man who knows his place," she teased, her voice low and sultry. She licked the hollow of my throat, undoubtedly one of the most sensitive places on my body. She had my wrist pinned to my side, and I could easily relieve her of such control...but I had no need to do so. Her other hand was groping me unrestrictedly and I felt her breath hitch as she rubbed it down the middle of my chest to the tightness of my stomach. "Nice, huh?" I grinned as she continued to feel me.

She let go of my wrist and playfully whacked my arm. "Don't get too full of yourself."

"No...I only plan to get full of you." I raised an eyebrow at her, and this obviously ignited something within in her, as she moaned softly and pressed herself into me. The contact was delicious, but she pulled away quickly.

"I can be just as much of a tease as you are," Elena whispered, moving back up my body, her tongue leaving dampness against my skin that I couldn't even begin to describe. Her hot breath moved over it, chilling my skin and I could feel my breath come in and out more quickly as she deliberately pressed our hips together, but only momentarily. My frustration mounted as she moved again, holding herself up with her hands, but keeping her own body just above mine. We weren't touching, but I could feel the heat radiating between us. I thought again of the dance we had shared and that incredible ability we had to _feel_ each other, even if it wasn't physical.

Elena kissed my neck again, but lightly and lovingly, as opposed to sloppily and hurriedly. "What does it feel like when someone kisses you here?" she murmured against my pulse.

I thought about it for a moment before answering, as I settled my hands into her beautiful hair, running my hands through the softness. "It's a sweet torture," I told her, "and is about ten times more sensitive than when I kiss you there."

She removed her lips from my neck and regarded me. "Torture?"

"It's rather..." I struggled to think of the right word and then smiled and cocked my head to the side slightly. "It's rather orgasmic."

Elena laughed and then lowered her mouth again. "In that case..."

"I don't think so," I said as I gently pushed her back so that she sat on my waist. "But speaking of which...there are a few things I would like to try with you." I reached my hand up, caressing the skin of her arm lightly before snaking it behind her back. With both hands, I found the clasp of her bra and unhooked it. She appeared to have stopped breathing as I performed this task.

The lacy black bra fell onto my stomach and I brushed it off the bed as I stared up at two perfectly rounded and perky breasts. Her nipples were already hard from the bite of the air and were a lovely dusky pink colour.

I groaned softly before shifting us so that I was sitting up and she was in my lap. I ran my hand over one of them squeezing softly and then took the nipple between my thumbs and pinched. I repeated the motion on the second one, and earning a positive response, by the sounds of her quiet whimpers, I lowered my head to her chest.

My mouth closed around one of her nipples as I sucked lightly, one of my hands holding her breast to my mouth, and then other whispering up and down her stomach. She was trembling against me as I very gently scraped my teeth against it, and then flicked my tongue back and forth over it. She tasted lovely – almost like citrus but with an underlying scent of something sweeter, like strawberries.

"Oh, my God, Damon," she whimpered as I did it to her other breast. She had lowered her face into my neck and was pressed so close to me that I could feel the slickness between her legs as she straddled one of my legs with her hips. I knew that my control could only last so long.

I gently closed my teeth around her, not breaking the skin as my hand squeezed in rhythm to my mouth. Even though in the throes of pleasure, she was kissing my neck, and before I even realized, had her hand over my still-clothed member. She was rubbing very slowly, even as I sped up my own actions. My body had never felt this good.

She moaned my name again and squeezed me down there. I thought that my brain had shut down completely as she touched me like no one ever had. Her lips were over mine and she was pushing me back down again. My head hit the pillow and I arched my back up slightly as she grabbed the hem of my boxers and pulled them down and off.

Her eyes rested hungrily on me for a moment before she lowered her body and slithered down ward, her hands grasping my sides as she did so. She kissed the insides of my thighs, licking upwards, teasing me almost to the point of exhaustion. My eyes fluttered close as I bit my lip.

I was so hard that it almost hurt me. I groaned, despite my resolve to just shut the hell up, when her mouth completely skipped over my length, and dipped into my navel. It took all of my self control to not just throw her into the mattress when she looked at me sultrily and began kissing various patches of skin on my hips and abdomen. I could feel the muscles of my stomach contract as the fire she had lit continued to build itself there.

"Elena," I moaned softly as she licked from my navel to the center of my stomach.

She moved slowly, pressing my hips into the mattress with her hands. All I could see was her gaze as it lingered on me and her head slowly moving back up my body. The fire spread in my stomach and I knew that I had to stop her. The thought had barely entered my mind when suddenly her lips were on mine for the millionth time. All comprehension of anything stopped when I felt her soft hand close around my need.

My mouth parted, and I tried to say something, but she only continued to gaze right into my eyes as her hand moved up and down, and she pumped me slowly. It didn't take long for me to start thrusting into her hand. I threw my head back as ecstasy overwhelmed me.

She stopped suddenly, moving her thumb lightly over the head, rubbing it gently. The feather-light touch could be enough to send me over the edge. I had to stop her if I wanted to salvage the rest of this night.

"Stop, Elena, oh God..." I begged, my voice hoarse. I made a move to grab her hand away from there. She only smiled at me as she removed her hand from me, giving it one last teasing pump before leaving her hands to lie limply at her sides.

It took only seconds for me to have her on her back again, and this time my arousal had reached a state of something I had never experienced. I began to kiss her as I moved my hand down and began rubbing her through her panties – which were beginning to get quite damp. She arched her hips against my hand and wasting no time, I discarded them to go with all of our other forgotten clothing.

I was finally able to look upon her entire nude body. Her dark hair was spread out along the pillow and that creamy skin covered her from head to toe. She smiled up at me, shyly, as she ran her hand down my chest. I returned the smile, tentatively, as she continued to look at me.

It took me a moment to realize what exactly it was that I was feeling, as my stomach knotted. Shy. I felt shy. I also felt like a virgin, as her eyes roamed over my body, seemingly appraising me before finally settling on my face. She reached up a hand and touched me once, gently.

"You're beautiful," I told her. And she was. Every part of her was gorgeous and I began to caress the inside of her thigh as I lowered myself slightly. I brushed my hand over her briefly and heard her intake of breath. I trailed my hand up to her mouth and leaned down close to her ear before whispering, "Suck."

Elena complied and took two of my fingers into her mouth, sucking on them lightly. Our eyes never left each other's, even as I pulled my hand away and put it between her legs. I pressed slightly, spreading them a bit, and then inserted one finger into her.

She gasped and arched against me immediately, and I began to move it slowly in and out. I couldn't stop watching her face as her eyes fluttered closed and a dark blush began to spread across her cheeks. Feeling she was more ready, I inserted the other finger and began to move them quickly.

"Yes, Damon," she rasped as she moved her hips with them. Seeing her like that – I couldn't wait. As soon as I felt her start to tremble around me, I removed my fingers and poised myself at her entrance.

"Are you ready?" I managed to choke out.

"Yes, please, Damon. I need to feel you." That was all I needed to hear as I finally thrust myself inside her, her tightness nearly overwhelming me. I moaned softly, but stayed still. Her fingernails dug into my back as she held onto me tightly. "Please...move," she whispered against me.

And I did, but not fast. I wanted to show her how much I loved her. I moved slowly within her, still feeling the remnants of her last orgasm tremble around my member. After a few moments, we had established a slow, steady rhythm as our hips met over and over again, but not harshly. I could feel every inch of her pressed into me and it was divine. Her breasts rubbed against my chest, and her stomach against mine.

Her legs were wrapped around my waist and her eyes were closed as I continued to move in and out of her. I felt her nails dig into my back, which caused me to groan, and despite myself, I began to move a little bit faster. I shifted my position slightly and began to hit her sweet spot. It wasn't long before I could feel her inner walls tremble against me and she was gasping out my name.

I lowered myself closer to her as I thrust and closed my mouth over hers, kissing her gently at first, and then more roughly as my thrusts became urgent. I could feel it –the heat pooling in my stomach, curling up and trembling lightly.

"I love you," she said into my mouth as I continued to thrust. "Oh, God, I love you too much." Her legs trembled around my waist and then suddenly she was crying as her orgasm hit her without warning. Her lips were still on mine as she cried out again and again. I felt her around me and it didn't take long until the white hot ball in my stomach finally sprung free. My entire body began to tremble with the intensity.

We were impossibly close as our bodies became one and our mouths stayed connected. I found myself saying her name into her mouth, over and over like a chant as my stomach and thigh muscles clenched and my hips spasmed against hers. It was so powerful that I could feel the tears burn the back of my eyes. "Elena," I gasped as I finally came, my whole world going silent. There was only this moment and only this moment that mattered.

It had never been like this with Katherine and it would never be like this with anyone else again.

"Elena," I groaned again, this time softly. I pulled out, collapsing on top of her. Our bodies were slick with sweat as I rested against her. I didn't have my full weight on her – some of it was shifted to the side. I had my head resting against her chest, as I listened to her rapid heartbeat. I was sure that mine was just as loud. I had never felt so complete. My body shook and so did hers as I lay next to her and brushed my hand through those dark, damp curls.

She instinctively curled into me and I put my arms around her. It was usually now that I left or sent the woman away. But not tonight – tonight I would stay with her because I had finally found the one thing that made me feel whole, that patched up the jagged rip in my heart. I would stay with her tonight even if I couldn't stay with her forever.

"Wonderful," Elena's lips told my chest. I could tell that she was tired. It had been a trying night, in all senses of the word. I felt my stomach clench tightly as I held her to me.

"I never want to let you go," I murmured to the top of her head.

"Then don't," she said softly, and her eyes closed and I felt her relax into sleep instantly.

If only I could oblige her command.


	6. The Sacrifice

Hello, everyone! Wow, so many positive reviews, once again! :) Thank you so much! I'm sorry that it took me longer to update – I meant to do it yesterday, but it got delayed! Anyhow, I've decided that I will _try_ to update this fic at least once a week; sometimes it might be a little longer, though, because I am a rather busy person. With that said, I think there will only be about 4 – 6 more chapters (so many more than I had originally planned)!

Thank you for your continued support and I hope you enjoy this! Please leave a review – constructive criticism is always welcome, also! :)

* * *

Push  
Chapter VI: The Sacrifice

_Watching you sleep for so long,_  
_Knowing I can't turn the rain into sun any more_  
_I've given you all that I have,_  
_Now I stand here, too scared to hold your hand._

_Afraid you might wake to see_  
_The monster that had to leave_

_'Cause you see the shelter as the storm_  
_Holding wind to keep you on,_  
_You are everything to me, this is why I have to leave,_  
_So sleep well my angel._

_Under the ash and the lies,_  
_Something beautiful once here now dies,_  
_And the tears burn my eyes,_  
_As you sit there, all alone._  
_I just want to come home,_

_But you see the shelter as the storm,_  
_Holding wind to keep you on,_  
_YOu are everything to me, this is why I have to leave,_  
_So sleep well my angel._  
_Sleep well, my angel._

_I'm sorry_  
_I'm sorry_  
_I'm sorry_  
_I'm sorry_

_You see the shelter as the storm,_  
_Holding wind to keep you on,_  
_You are everything to me, this is why_

_You see the shelter as the storm,_  
_Holding wind to keep you on,_  
_You are everything to me, this is why I have to leave_  
_So sleep well, my angel._

_Sleep well, my angel._

-We Are The Fallen, "Sleep Well, My Angel"

* * *

I awoke sometime late in the night, Elena's dark head resting against my chest. Her warm breath came slow and steady against my skin, sending shivers and trills of small shivers throughout my body. I placed a chaste kiss on the top of her head and gently disentangled myself from her. She rolled over onto her back, still completely asleep. I sat up and shuffled quietly to the side of the bed, my feet touching the cold floor. I stood up and began to look for my clothes.

Once I had them on, I stood at the foot of the bed and gazed at her. The thing I was about to do was unforgiveable and worth death about a thousand times over. But she would never know, and that's why she would be okay. But for myself, knowing that I had done it...I didn't think I would be able to live with it. But it was the right thing, and _not_ doing it would be selfish and loathing on my own part.

What Elena and I had, what we had experienced...it was real and at least that much was true. I could take that thought with me and comfort myself with it for the rest of my very long and immortal live. So badly I wanted to stay with her for eternity, but I couldn't do it. I could not compromise her situation with Stefan. As much as I hated him, I would not do this to him...or her. I would not make her choose, like we had selfishly made Katherine do. That didn't work out well in the end for either of us. Someone deserved to be happy...even if it wasn't me.

I continued to look at her, memorizing her features; her peaceful face, slender neck, and the curve of her hips which billowed into long legs. I did not want a part of my memory untouched by her. She did look truly beautiful, even asleep. With the sheet pulled up past her chest and one arm resting lazily over her stomach, her eyes fluttered lightly, indicating the deepness of her rest.

The sheet outlined her nude body perfectly and I found myself having to take a calming breath. Her cheeks flushed pink slightly and a lock of her fell softly against her cheek.

I moved toward her quietly, my eyes resting just above her collar bone as I searched for my target.

I felt my eyes widen as I realized for the first time that Elena was not wearing her necklace. The necklace that protected her from compulsion was not lying against her skin, nor was it even anywhere insight. I bit my lip, as suddenly everything became clear.

She had no intention of ever seeing Stefan tonight, and she had come to me without the protection of her necklace...because she trusted me. I felt my heart twist painfully in my chest.

I was about to compel her to forget about this night and the guilt was nearly eating me alive. I knew that I wasn't the most chivalrous of people, but to confess love and make love to someone...and then will them to forget...it seemed shady and disturbing. I could feel my heart clench tightly as I reminded myself that I was doing this for the well being of everyone – that I was performing a selfless act. Or so I would have to keep telling myself.

But I knew that even if it was nearly selfless, it was still selfish, for once I did what I was about to do...there was no going back. It was forever. I knew that.

Standing over her, I lowered my lips to hers and kissed her, very softly, and murmured, "I love you, Elena. I truly do. Thank you for everything. And even if you don't know what I'm doing, I hope in your heart you will forgive me." I grit my teeth and the unaccustomed wave of emotion that crashed over me as I forced myself to stand back and willed my thoughts into her.

"Elena," I began softly, "when you awaken, you will not remember this part of the night. You will not remember coming here, you will not remember our confessions of love, and you will not remember making love. You will remember nothing. When you awaken, you will feel freshened and your love for Stefan will be renewed. You will remember me only as your friend. But you will also remember that I _do_ care about you very much. You never came here. This evening, you went straight home to bed, completely exhausted."

I continued to will these thoughts to her over and over again, using all of the strength I had left in myself, ensuring that my compulsion would work. When I was finally sure it had been enough, and had compelled her into a deep sleep, I began to dress her.

When I was finished, I cradled her in my arms and murmured to her all my love; everything I had left to give – I would make sure that she had it. I picked her up, holding her tightly against me, and then suddenly, we were outside and I was running with her, leaping and breathless until we reached her house in what seemed like moments later.

I carefully placed her in her bed, and pulled the covers over her. And I stayed with her for at least an hour, until I decided I could bear it no longer. I leaned down and kissed her again. "Goodbye, love," I whispered as the pain suddenly overtook me. With one last glance at her, I bolted back to my house, relieved to discover that Stefan had yet to return. I left him a note:

"_Stefan,_

_I'm leaving Mystic Falls. I will not bother you again._

_Be happy._

_Yours in blood,_

_Damon."_

The simple note did not express my feelings by a long shot, but anything longer and I knew Stefan would be suspicious, especially if it was sentimental. I truly did wish him and Elena to be happy. I knew that he could give her what she wanted. I just couldn't be around them to watch that happen.

Every time I opened myself up to someone, I got hurt. I knew I was a coward, and that was okay. As long as Elena was safe, nothing could truly bother me. But even as I told myself these things over and over again, I felt my heart ripping itself to shreds. I truly had nothing left to give.

I found myself in my car, driving around Mystic Falls for one last look around town. It was still dark but I knew it wouldn't be long before dawn. Sighing, I pulled my car over onto a quiet shoulder and got out, planning on taking a walk before the endless driving I had ahead of me. I didn't know where I wanted to go, but I knew that it would be damn far away from here.

I spotted the path that lead into a forest and began to walk slowly, enjoying the clear air and the wind fresh on my face. As I walked, I thought I heard something - like someone following me. I nearly chuckled at the thought. After all, _I _was the one whom all should fear.

My peacefulness shattered, however, when the sound got louder. I snapped around, my eyes searching the dark, but I could see nothing. I briefly wondered if I was being paranoid, but then I sensed it – someone just like me was close by. I could have growled in frustration. Where the hell were all these god damned vampires coming from anyway?

I turned around to walk back to my car, hearing nothing. I stopped again, suddenly realizing that it was _too_ quiet. I listened, trying to sense whatever it was, and that's when chaos exploded around me.

The hypodermic filled with vervain plunged right into my side before I had time to react. No sound even left my lips as a second one hit me right in the chest. I staggered backwards, still not seeing anything within my distance. But then I saw her, standing there, suddenly right in front of me – wearing a flowing white dress that outlined her features, glowing in the moonlight. The haziness quickly settled around me and I felt my knees begin to give way.

"Elena?" I choked out at the figure in front of me.

She approached me, the white swishing around her, giving her an ethereal glow. She appeared two feet in front of me and grasped me under the arms. She leaned forward, a sort of sweetness wafting off of her, and it was then I knew better. Her scent was completely different. The intoxicating scent of honey and evil; I could practically taste it as it emanated from her.

"Hello, Damon," she whispered sultrily into my ear.

_Katherine_, my mind realized with a shock. And then everything was black.


	7. The Strife

Hello, all! Wow, it's been nearly two weeks since I updated this thing! Time certainly does fly, and I've unfortunately been too occupied with other things to get a chance to update! But thank you for your patience and all the kind words! :) I'll try not to have as big of a stretch between this chapter and the next, but you know...life happens! ;) Please continue to leave reviews and I will do my best to improve my writing!

Phew, that said, I'm going to have to issue a **warning **for the first part of this chapter, as it contains a bit of..._gasp –_ **incest**! Don't worry, it's nothing hardcore or anything, but it is a little bit erotic! It does contain some things that might be referenced later, though! Anyway, the point is, if you don't think you can read that kind of thing, skip ahead or close the web browser! lol :)

Happy reading!

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Push  
Chapter VII: The Strife

_I am your thought but the water is amnesia  
my name is on the tip of your tongue  
My image is slipping  
but your memory is gripping it  
this is my breath in your lungs_.

-The Hush Sound, "Echo"

* * *

_My arms were pinned at my sides as Katherine kissed my stomach, her lips lingering on my skin, causing my entire body to tingle with a kind of awareness that I only seemed to feel when she was around. A warm breeze rolled over my completely nude body and I shivered lightly. As I let the sensations overwhelm me, I suddenly became conscious of another pair of lips, soft, yet firm, on my neck. I opened my eyes to find a pair of light brown ones staring back at me, almost mischievously._

"_Stefan?" I managed to choke out as my eyes came to rest on my brother, who was unashamedly as nude as I was. I tried to sit up, but he pushed me back down again and a sort of fear and shame crawled beneath my skin. I was certainly not used to such a feeling. Life was too short to feel either of those things, yet both were overwhelming my senses._

_I tried to feel angry that he was here, with Katherine and myself, but I couldn't._

"_It is fine," I heard Katherine say lowly, and suddenly she was beside me, lightly stroking my wrist. She kissed my cheek, which had become flushed in embarrassment, shame, and arousal. "You agreed to this, remember?"_

_I found myself nodding, even though some dark place in the back of my mind told me that I had not agreed to whatever "this" was and that Stefan hadn't either. Stefan...my attention went back to him as I felt his mouth on my neck again, his kisses so light, gentle, and unsure. Something stirred within me and I felt a sudden pang of fear at the thought of my younger brother and the love of my life holding me hostage to my own forbidden desires._

_Katherine stroked my hair lightly, and then pushed it out of my eyes. I could feel how damp it was from the temperature of the bed chamber. The weather was hot and humid and the summer night was relentless. Her hand suddenly moved quickly down my stomach, her thumb brushing here and there, applying gentle pressure. I arched against her hand when she touched my length and felt myself flush when I reminded myself that Stefan was watching._

_And then I saw him hover over me. He seemed to be making some kind of decision; his eyes alight with deep thought. I felt my breath hitch in my throat as he lowered his face inches from mine. He searched my eyes, and as if to calm my nerves, I felt his fingertips ghost lightly over the inside of my wrist._

"_For Katherine," he quietly murmured, and then closed the gap between us and pressed his lips chastely to mine. The softness of his lips surprised me more than anything and I found myself hesitantly returning the kiss, just as chastely._

_Until Katherine squeezed me down below and I gasped in shock, having momentarily forgotten the whereabouts of her hand. Stefan's mouth closed fully over mine and suddenly he was kissing me passionately, like a lover might. And I didn't care. Because I was just as guilty as I returned the sudden aggressiveness. He pressed me into the bed, one hand holding my arm down and the other cupping my face. My free hand had threaded itself into his hair and I pulled. _

_It seemed, in that moment, that we were battling for Katherine's love and affection. She had manipulated us with lust, causing us to feel lust, and now we used that very lust to fight each other. His grip lift imprints on my skin and I was sure that I had pulled some of his hair out._

_Katherine came up beside us suddenly, interrupting our silent war. She kept her hand on my length, stroking it so softly. I let out a strangled moan and Stefan finally broke away from me, gasping for air. He didn't have much time to recover, though, because within moments, Katherine was kissing him right above me and I felt the pressure on my member increase. I could feel my legs quiver and my stomach muscles tighten as she brought me closer and closer to that edge. _

_My entire body was on fire and just as I was about to release my seed, I felt Katherine's teeth sink into my neck and Stefan's mouth crush itself against mine. I gasped and moaned and my body shook as a pleasure I had never felt before coursed through my veins. Stefan held one of my hands and Katherine held the other and it took me a moment to realize that tears were quickly and furiously racing down my face from the intensity of the moment._

_But then everything went hazy and began to fade to black, and the last thing I saw was the fuzzy outline of Katherine's smiling face – there, I saw satisfaction, but something else, too._

_Love._

* * *

When I awoke next, I felt incredibly confused, as my mind attempted to fill in the gaping holes between times. I remembered Isobel and her words to Elena; I remembered returning to my house...and Elena coming to see Stefan.

He hadn't been there, but I had. And then we had made love. I felt my heart tighten as the memory slowly drifted back to me. It clenched almost unbearably when I recalled erasing her memories of the night. Nausea rolled through me and I felt physically ill.

I slowly opened my eyes, realizing that I was in a bedroom, decorated in Civil War era furniture. Everything in it looked so..._old_. The room was painted completely white. Shock trembled through my body when I suddenly realized that this room reeked of Katherine. I could still smell her as I had fallen into her arms, completely helpless against the vervain.

The vervain which still coursed through my veins...and decorated parts of the room. I gasped, testing my strength. I realized that I was lying in a bed, also completely decorated in white. White sheets, pillows, and a comforter. But the room was pitch black. If it weren't for my incredible eyesight, I would not have been able to observe all of these details so acutely.

I had been weakened incredibly, even more so than when Stefan had confined me to the cellar. I glanced down and saw that my ring was gone. Of _course_ it was. At least she had the decency to toss me onto a bed, rather than a floor.

I gave up trying to move and stared at the ceiling, eventually letting my eyes slide closed again. Katherine. The only feeling I felt towards her at the moment was hatred, pure and simple. What could she possibly want from me and why did she feel the need to incapacitate me to get it? After all these years, she finally showed her damn face and wreaked havoc on me. I felt my muscles clench in anger. I was still angry that the woman who had supposedly loved me had been alive all these years and had not bothered to make any contact until now.

The hatred swelled in my gut, but even as angry as I was, I felt my heart twitch as I recalled her and my love for her. I had loved her so much and now...I really didn't know how to feel about it. I was startled out of my musings when I heard Katherine's voice.

I opened my eyes to see that she was standing right above me. She still wore the white dress I had seen her in when she attacked me in the woods. It really left little to the imagination and I tried to rip my eyes away from it.

"I see you've awoken," she said, quirking one perfect brow at me. She brushed a hand over my head, moving aside a piece of hair that had fallen across my face. She seemed to almost laugh to herself as she said, "You're the only vampire I've ever met who's _this_ susceptible to vervain."

I grit my teeth, but kept silent.

"Oh, Damon. How can you just lie there like that?" She paused and then giggled, her laugh enveloping me in the spacious room. "Oh, _right_. _I _made you like that!"

Then she sighed, long and drawn out as she stroked my forehead. My insides churned at her touch. "Have you no words for me?" she finally asked, this time seriously. She took my limp hand into hers and stroked her thumb over my skin.

All my immortal life, I had been waiting for this moment; for this reunion with Katherine so I could claim her once again as mine and keep Stefan out of the picture. But things had changed, and quickly at that.

"I know you still love me," she murmured. "It's rather plain on your face. I'm sorry we had to meet this way, but I knew that it would be the only way you would talk to me. I've been watching you and it seems you have and Stefan have been occupied with...other things," she finished, her eyes flashing angrily for a moment.

I shuddered, completing disregarding all she had said in the past few moments, and finally spat, "You underestimate my strength!" And then I harnessed every last bit I had, and slammed my hand upwards into her throat, causing her to fly across the room, knocking some things over. I had her against the wall and I struggled to keep there. I was incredibly weak, but I knew that this would be the only way to get her to talk.

"And you underestimate _mine_," she hissed as she turned us around and slammed me into the wall instead. I felt my head hit it hard and a trickle of blood dripped down the side of my face. She held me there, her eyes wide in anger and surprise.

I let out a small yelp of pain as she dug her nails into me, drawing more blood. She held me with one hand and calmly reached over the nightstand beside us and opened the drawer. She pulled out a dagger...and I recognized it from our earlier life.

Very slowly, and very deliberately, Katherine pressed the dagger against my chest, and began to move it down. It tore my shirt and cut my skin and a line of dark red blood appeared. I inhaled sharply, refusing to cry out, even though the pain was agonizing.

"Why did you bring me here?" I finally managed, my voice betraying me as it shook.

Katherine looked at me, smirking, and then said as devilishly and as mischievously as possible, "You and I are going to make a deal."


	8. The Deal

Hello, everyone! Sorry for the long hiatus...but you know...stuff happens. Sigh. Such is life. :) Thank you all for the wonderful reviews and I really hope you enjoy this next chapter! I've already started working on the next one so this huge time-gap between chapters doesn't happen again – at least not for a while! :) Reviews are very much appreciated!

Oh, and I did spell-check and double check, but there still might be some errors! Sorry, I just really wanted to get it up tonight! :) Have a lovely evening!

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Push  
Chapter VIII: The Deal

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry  
You don't know how lovely you are  
I had to find you  
Tell you I need you  
Tell you I've set you apart  
Tell me your secrets  
And ask me your questions  
Oh, let's go back to the start  
_  
-Coldplay, "The Scientist"

* * *

The way her full lips had curved into that crooked half smile – the one that touched her eyes and made them sparkle with mischief – made me believe that I had momentarily travelled back to the past and I was chasing her around the garden, laughing and imagining that there could be nothing better than the moment.

That smile was now laced with malice as she held me against the wall. I could feel the blood trickle down my chest from the cut she had made. She held my gaze with her brown eyes, probing mine deeply, and I felt as if I were falling under a spell.

But then she looked away and laughed. "That was almost too easy, Damon. Do you even realize how weak and pathetic you are right now?" Her hand trailed up to my chin and grasped it tightly, jerking my head to the side slightly. "How thoughtless of you - you haven't even asked me what deal we're going to make!" She tipped her head back and giggled.

"You haven't given me a chance to...bitch," I spat at her, feeling my fight slowly come back to me.

"You would be wise to shut the hell up," Katherine snarled, snapping her hand away from my chin and pressing it against my throat. "I see you still don't have a filter on that mouth of yours. But then again, that is one of the things that has always drawn me to you. So calm and collected, never giving a damn about what anyone else wants." She was so close to me – too close, and her scent was driving me wild.

"What do you _want_?" I finally managed, trying to shake her off me.

Her eyes softened and she eased her grip, moving one had to caress my face. "You really don't know, Damon? I just want us to be happy again." She moved her hand down my face, to my neck, and lower, trailing it down my chest. She dipped her finger into the wound and brought it to her lips, tasting my blood. "Mmm, better than I remembered, if only there wasn't that awful taste of vervain in it. But no worries, it'll be gone soon enough and we can have our fun."

I felt myself reacting unwillingly to her touch as the memories of us came flooding back. "Katherine," I breathed, lowering my head close to her neck. I should have been using this moment, where she was caught off guard, to rip her throat out. But I couldn't. Her presence was too intoxicating.

"Oh, Damon," she murmured as she leaned close to me, pressing her body into mine. She held me there and stared into her eyes. "I never wanted to hurt you, love. I just wanted to do what was best. Can't you understand that?"

My body burned and my heart ached. "You thought that the best thing to do was to leave me alone for 145 years, Katherine? While I agonized over you, every inch of my body wanting you for so long? Stefan and I...you tore us apart. You not only destroyed our relationship with each other, but you also broke both of our hearts."

She opened her mouth to argue with me, but I cut her off.

"For years, I thought you were sealed away in that tomb and I sacrificed everything to get you out of it, including relationships I had managed to build. And now, you come to me, kidnapping me, expecting me to just swoon right back into your arms? Especially after I hear that you've been alive this whole time and want nothing to do with me!" I snarled out the last part, feebly attempting to push her away from me, but she held fast to my jacket.

"Damon," Katherine said, softly, easing her grip on me. She reached up to stroke my hair. "I want _everything _to do with you. Now's the time...it's finally safe for us, don't you understand? We're safe to be together for eternity. How could I not want you? I loved – _love_ – you so much," she said sincerely, looking me right in the eye.

She touched my forehead gently and then lowered her mouth to mine, lingering right above my lips for a moment, as if seeking permission. I must have inclined my head slightly, because she closed the gap and kissed me softly. I felt myself responding as her grip on me eased and she pressed herself against me tighter. My mind felt suddenly clouded, like I was forgetting about something. A soft haze settled around it and I didn't know if I had the strength to fight it. All I knew was that I was kissing Katherine and it was something I had been waiting for nearly all my life.

As Katherine's hand slipped low and began to stroke the inside of my thigh, I was suddenly moved back to reality. I blinked as Elena's face filled my mind. I pulled back from her and she stared at me, confused.

"I have to stop," I said lightly, as I pushed her away. "No, I can't – I won't – do this, Katherine."

She just blinked at me as the soft look that had been in her eyes quickly turned to stone. "What do you mean, Damon? I've been waiting for this – for you."

"I love someone else now," I finally said, simply. Though I would never be with her, it was true. And well one half of me felt like I had just betrayed Elena, the other half argued that when an opportunity presents itself, you don't just shoot it down. And Katherine was that opportunity right now.

Katherine's full lips suddenly curved into a malicious smile. "I knew it, Damon Salvatore. I knew that you would chase after my boring copy-cat the moment you saw her. Well, guess what – she isn't me and will never be me. And as far as I can tell, she is completely in love with Stefan. So why not let him have the little bitch and you and I can be together?" She was still so close to me.

I growled at her, the renewed love suddenly disappearing. "You're right, Katherine – she's not you! And that's _exactly _why I love her!" I pushed her away from me, the blood boiling under my skin. I was furious – at Katherine, but mostly at myself.

Katherine snarled at me. "Are you trying to tell me that our love was a lie?"

"No, I'm trying to tell you that _your_ love was a lie!" I could feel my soul blazing within me as I struggled to get away from her. But I just wasn't strong enough – the vervain had weakened me considerably.

And then she was at me, without a word, holding me against the wall and kissing me so fiercely I thought my own breath might explode out of me. She shoved her hand right up my shirt and caressed my skin while the other gripped my face tightly as she forced my mouth to hers, her dark hair falling over her face and brushing so softly against mine.

My first mistake was the soft gasp, whether from surprise or pleasure, I didn't know, but it gave her complete access to the inside of my mouth.

And I liked it. I threaded my hands in her hair and kissed her as thoroughly as I'd kissed anyone. She sighed softly into my mouth as her tongue darted out to trace the edge of my lips. My legs trembled but she held me up. I was confused. How could she still harbour this much power over me?

I felt her lips touch my neck and she placed a soft kiss at my pulse.

She chuckled darkly at my sharp intake of breath. "Relax; I can't drink from you – _yet_ – because of the vervain." She trailed her tongue along my neck and I closed my eyes, relaxing limply into her arms.

"You're still beautiful, Damon," she murmured against my heated flesh, "and I'm still in love with you, whether you want to believe it or not." She began to place kisses at my collar bone, wrapping her arms completely around me. "Just think of what we could do together."

I felt a surge of the old power at the thought. It was rising up in me. She did have a few good points. I was doomed. No matter how things turned out, there was one thing for certain – and that was that I could not have Elena.

So why not just go with the next best thing? My thoughts had very quickly taken a dark turn and I embraced them fully. "The deal? What was the deal, Katherine?" I murmured against her. I could still hardly fathom that she was here in my arms, despite everything that had just happened.

Katherine looked up at me sweetly, and brushed her thumb over my cheek. "The deal is rather simple, Damon. You and Stefan turn yourselves over to me and I won't kill Elena." She kissed the corner of my mouth.

My blood froze as she leaned close to my ear and whispered, "Isn't that simply divine?"


	9. The Reckoning

Hello, wonderful readers! :) I hope your day is going great! Here's a treat – I was able to finish the next chapter right away! Thanks, once again, for your kind words and encouragement! Please review and let me know what you think! ;)

Oh, and in case you haven't noticed...this story involves more than just Damon and Elena. It pretty much explores the interconnecting relationships between Damon, Stefan, Elena and Katherine. But have no fear...Elena will be reappearing again sooner than you think! :)

Happy reading!

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Push  
Chapter IX: The Reckoning

_Softly we tremble tonight,  
Picture perfect fading smiles are all that's left in sight.  
I said I'd never leave, you'll never change  
I'm not satisfied with where I'm at in life._

-The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, "Cat and Mouse"

* * *

"_Damon, you're trembling," Katherine whispered into my ear. She moved the pad of her thumb over the inside of my wrist. I could feel my heart pounding against my ribcage, so I took a deep breath to calm myself._

_I had never been so unnerved in all of my life. Not even when Katherine had whispered her secret to me._

_We were standing in the middle of her room, the only light coming from the full moon and the soft glow of a single candle. Our nude bodies were pressed against each other, my arms wound tightly around her waist. I wanted nothing more than to demonstrate to her the passion she ignited in my soul, but I was terrified._

"_I have never...I have never lain with a woman before," I said quietly into her dark tresses. I felt her smile against my neck before she placed a gentle kiss at the hollow of my throat. "I can't help but think that we should perhaps...wait." It had been forced into my mind, time and time again, that to lay with a woman before marriage was a ticket straight to hell. My mind countered that surely there were some things I had done in the past few months that were worse than being intimate with someone you loved._

"_I can't wait for you any longer, love. I need you, Damon." Katherine lifted her head from my neck and probed my eyes with her own. "I want you to make love to me." Arousal shot through my body and every single nerve-ending burned. I wanted to, but I was just so unsure._

_I swallowed hard. I'd never been particularly virtuous, but frankly, sex scared the hell out of me. I had always broken the rules when it came to...other things, but this was different. This was someone trusting me to be truly careful with them, while at the same time expecting a certain amount of pleasure. Katherine and I had...fooled around a few times, but nothing too serious. Nothing like this._

_My body burned for hers but I was terrified. What if I did something wrong?_

"_That's not possible," Katherine said softly, answering my thoughts. She took my wrist and guided me to the bed, exerting enough pressure to push me down. She boldly climbed on top of my waist and straddled me. I inhaled sharply. I had never been this close to anyone. I could feel the softness of her skin brushing my entire body and the feeling was simply spectacular. _

"_But what about your virtue?" I rasped out._

_She simply smiled and kissed me full on the lips. "I want this as much as you do, love. Now stop worrying. There is nothing wrong about this." She shifted her position, her hair falling over shoulders. Suddenly I was in her and the feeling was nearly overpowering. There were no barriers – simply skin on skin._

_I groaned softly as my hands flew to her hips and I held her there for a moment. She gripped my shoulders and began to move up and down on me, slowly at first, but then she increased the rhythm. Our hips met as I rose up, thrusting into her, suddenly moving quickly. I gripped her waist._

"_Yes, Damon," she gasped out, lowering her mouth to mine and kissing me. I stilled her movements and flipped us so that I was on top and entwined my hand with hers. It wasn't long until we were crying out each other's names, shuddering against each other. My entire body shook against hers. I stayed above her for a moment, leaning down to capture her lips. I could still feel my heart racing. I rolled over beside her._

"_I love you," I told her, my arm securely around her as I pulled her into my chest. I squeezed her hand._

"_I love you, too," she murmured, her mouth suddenly at my throat. "May I, Damon?"_

"_Yes," I whispered and I felt the pang of her fangs in my neck. I could feel her sucking at me gently and the pain subsided quickly into an odd mingle of pleasure. Usually when we did this it was a lot more painful, but not tonight._

_When she was finished, she offered me her freshly cut wrist. I didn't know if I could do it, but suddenly my mouth was pressed against her and I was sharing in her life force as she had shared in mine._

_I had never felt more whole in my life than in that moment._

* * *

"You know I can't do that, Katherine," I answered after a moment of heavy silence. I didn't trust her one bit. She merely regarded me coolly, and then backed away from me. It was so much easier to think clearly when she wasn't so close to me, when her scent wasn't filling my nostrils and forcing me to relive our intimate moments.

Finally, she replied, "You really have no choice in the matter, Damon. I _will_ kill her. I will drain her dry, and then burn her alive with an ounce of life left. Do you understand me? You and me and Stefan...we're meant to be together, you see? But due to some unfortunate circumstances over a century ago, that wasn't able to happen. And now we finally have the opportunity to claim happiness." Katherine reached out and stroked my cheek.

I flinched and closed my eyes, setting my jaw. "Leave Elena and Stefan alone, Katherine."

She dropped her hand. I could practically feel the evil smile radiating from her face. "Oh, is that how it is? They're together and poor Damon is left on the sidelines unbeknownst to them? My, oh, my. History does repeat itself, doesn't it?"

I did not appreciate the reopening of old wounds. Ones that I had finally closed. But I had to reason with her. She was acting insane. I opened my eyes, meeting hers calmly.

It was time to prove that I wasn't as selfish as everyone thought I was.

"Times are different now," I said, standing up straight, despite the pain that shot through me. "I – "

Katherine held up her hand, cutting me off. "That's bullshit, Damon, and you know it. You know what you smelled like when I attacked you in the woods? _Sex_. You fucked that girl, knowing that she belongs to Stefan. It really isn't a surprise, but isn't that exactly what happened in 1864?" she finished, smirking.

That _bitch_. I saw red flash in front of my eyes.

"_You _initiated the sex, Katherine, if my memory serves me. And then proceeded to tell me that _you _had just been with Stefan!" I growled. I could feel the rage flying up through my nerves as I took a threatening step forward. My feelings battled with each, clashing head on. One part of me said that I couldn't dare to hurt the woman I had loved – still might love – but the other part thirsted for her blood – and not in the good way. I didn't like the way she was talking about Elena and I certainly didn't like that she was threatening her.

Katherine laughed, a sound I used to love so much. But instead of a sweet wind-chime sound, her voice was laced with malice and conniving. "Oh, please, Damon. Don't give me that sob story again. Like it even mattered after that. You and Stefan liked being with me, and you liked being with each other!" she accused, her eyes glinting. She reached out and cupped my face, lowering her voice. "Isn't that right, love? You _enjoyed _touching Stefan as much as I did and you _enjoyed _our little games."

I felt the heat rise in my face, whether in anger from the accusation or embarrassment because she was partly right, I didn't know. "You _made_ us!" I spat.

"Oh, Damon. I didn't "make" you do anything. Us three, we had an incredible bond – and we probably still do." She stepped towards me again. "Your little Elena wouldn't be into that, now would she?"

"Shut up, Katherine!" I snarled. My head was pounding.

"I'm warning you, Damon," she said lowly, dangerously, "I'm not a force to be reckoned with. And I would highly advise that you find some way to bring Stefan to me. Or it's over for Elena."

"What the hell do you want from us?" I was near a breaking point which I never even knew I had.

"I told you!" Katherine growled. "I want to be with you and Stefan and I will stop at _nothing_ to have it that way." She grasped the collar of my jacket and yanked me so very close to her. "_You belong to me_," she hissed. And then she pounced on me and I was on my back, flat on the floor.

"You know what, Damon? I forgot to mention that vervain has almost no effect on me." Her lips twisted into a smirk and then she tore into my neck and drank from me until I was unconscious.


	10. The Quiet

Hello again, all! We're already at chapter ten! I guess I've been posting them pretty quickly, though – I can't help it. :) But this will be the last one for at least a few days! I thought for today, I would post one, wait a few hours, and then post the next one. :)

I'm so glad many of you are still reading this story! That's wonderful to see! :)

Notes for this chapter...hmm...oh, there's a POV switch, but it's pretty obvious. The POV will probably switching around from now on!

With that said, happy reading, and please review! Let's see if we can get to 100 before I post the next chapter! :) That would be AWESOME!

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Push  
Chapter X: The Quiet

_Just close your eyes_  
_And count to five_  
_Let's craft the only thing we know into surprise_

_Set down your glass_  
_I painted this_  
_To look like you and me forever as we're now_

_And I'm shaking then I'm still_  
_When your eyes meet mine I lose simple skills_  
_Like to tell you all I want is now_

-Snow Patrol, "Set Down Your Glass"

* * *

Words and images floated in my mind as I sailed on the edge of unconsciousness. I was only vaguely aware of my surroundings at this point – I still lie on the floor, but as I managed to peel my eyes open, I noticed that Katherine had left me a present.

She had placed sprigs of vervain around my body, outlining it like a body found at a crime scene. Nausea crashed over me in waves and for the first time, I noticed that she had taken my ring. I closed my eyes and lay there, my breath coming slowly out of me as I contemplated my dire situation. I could feel the dry blood on my neck from where Katherine had attacked me.

My entire mind felt disorganized, but I remembered something odd.

The vervain had not affected Katherine. I puzzled over this, wondering how it was even possible. She had years, of course, to figure out ways around it, but that still didn't stop other centuries-old vampires from dropping to the ground at the slightest whiff of it.

My mind was too weary to contemplate how she had found her way around another obstacle. I was too weak to think. The vervain was pulling me back under its spell and I finally decided to just give in to the sweet darkness that wanted to claim me so very badly.

Elena's face swirled before my eyes and I felt a smile tug at my lips before I surrendered.

* * *

I felt the night whisper to me as I slowly opened my eyes and turned my gaze upon the silvery crescent moon which floated beneath my window sill. I sat up in my bed, looking around the room to make completely sure that he was gone. Not that I wouldn't know if he hadn't left. His very presence, even from inches away, burned me. It was intoxicating.

Damon Salvatore left me breathless and tonight had been no different. When I finally said the words to him, I felt my soul lighten. I was in love with him and he returned the feelings. But our confessions had only complicated things for me because I was truly, madly, deeply, to quote an old nineties song, in love with Stefan. He was my soul mate.

But tonight had left me torn. Damon had made love to me, Elena Gilbert, and then erased my memories so that I would remember nothing of our passionate encounter. The thing is, though, that vervain flowed through my veins like a waterfall, and his compulsion had no effect on me. I had been taking the herb for over a week. I don't know why I felt compelled to do it, but now I was sure that this must have been the reason; so that I wouldn't be made to forget one of the most passionate moments in my life.

I had pretended to be asleep when he whispered his sweet words to me, trying to ease me into forgetfulness. It had been useless for him, though. I had not worn my vervain necklace on purpose. It wasn't to trick him; it was to let him know that I trusted him. And even though I had vervain in my system, that didn't mean that I didn't trust him. It was simply there to fulfill another purpose from a higher power, which I wasn't meant to understand until now.

He had tried to leave me, try to make me forget, and I wasn't about to let that happen. I looked out the window again and was startled to see that I must have been thinking for a long time because the sun was beginning to rise.

And for some reason that left me with an uneasy and restless feeling. I felt as though I were being watched. Nervously, I glanced at my alarm clock, the red digits blinking 5:03AM. I sighed softly, then turned and placed my feet on the floor, stretched, and walked over to my closet. I picked out my clothes, laid them on my bed, and then walked to the bathroom. I undressed quickly and turned on the shower, eager to step under the warm spray so I could wipe the sleep out of my system and think clearly.

I thought about Stefan and Damon as I scrubbed my body and washed my hair. How was it even possible to be in love with them both? They were complete opposites and not only that, didn't trust each other one bit.

I would be surprised if Stefan ever trusted me again after what I was going to tell him. Yes, I was going to own up to my decision to sleep with Damon. Not my _mistake_, because it certainly hadn't been one, but my _decision_. Stefan had a right to know – I just didn't know how I was going to tell him.

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my body and then proceeded to get dressed. As I looked outside again, the uneasy feeling in the pit in my stomach became magnified. Something was definitely not right and I had never been one to ignore my instincts.

I brushed my hair, regarding myself in the mirror, but paid very little attention, my mind occupied with other things. But then something odd happened. For a split second, Damon's face had appeared beside mine, but his was contorted in pain.

I gasped and whirled around, but there was no one there. Completely on edge, I decided to go for a drive. Maybe that would calm my nerves and I would think about what I would say to Stefan. My stomach twisted at the thought. At the very least, he would be hurt and he would feel betrayed. It was never my intention to cause trouble the way I had been.

I tiptoed down the stairs, knowing that everyone else was still asleep. I grabbed my purse off the table at the front door, and then stepped outside into the early morning sunlight. I was about to get into my car when something brushed my shoulder. I whirled around, ready to scream, but the hand had already clamped down on my mouth.

"Shh, Elena! It's just me," Stefan's soft voice said beside my ear. "I didn't mean to startle you."

My heart pounding, I turned around as he let go. He was dressed in jeans and a dark grey sweater I had never seen before. He adjusted the sunglasses he wore and then brushed a hand through his thick dark hair.

"You scared the hell out of me!" I said to him, kissing his cheek.

"I know. I said I was sorry." He managed a small smile but something about it seemed off. His brows were knit tightly together in what could only be worry.

Then it occurred to me how early it was. "What's wrong?" I asked, dread knotting in my stomach.

He held up a piece of white paper and then handed it to me. "Damon's left Mystic Falls," he said without any emotion.

I read the note, tears burning at the back of my eyes.

"He was gone when I came back from hunting," Stefan elaborated. He seemed uncomfortable.

There was something nagging at me though, and I bit my lip and pushed the damned tears away. "This may be Damon's writing, Stefan, but I'm telling you, he's not gone," I said. I could practically _feel_ him. Where was Bonnie when you needed her?

He regarded me through the sunglasses, surprise evident on his face. "What do you mean? How do you know?"

I felt my body tingle and then I was sure of it. "Stefan, something's not right."

* * *

"I was _this_ close to her this morning, Damon. I could have snapped her little neck the moment she turned around," I heard Katherine say beside my ear. "Now, you're going to cooperate fully with me. Your first task is simple. I've already explained the plan to you. I know it's going to be painful, but it has to be done, wouldn't you say?"

I was still barely conscious but I had heard her plan, all right.

What choice did I have but to comply?


	11. The Truth

Good day, all! Oh, man. I know I said wasn't going to update in few days, but the temptation was just too great. I've been working on this story pretty steadily, and still have at least two other chapters I could post. But I won't. Not for a few days! I swear, this time I'm telling the truth! :) Those other chapters need editing, anyway. I'll be busy over the next few days, but the next update won't be any longer than a week.

So...yeah. This story is getting pretty twisted and dark, more so than I originally planned, but I'm happy with the direction it's going in! It is rated "M." Hmm...so just as a warning for future chapters, there will be more Damon/Stefan scenes (there's one in this chapter, but nothing too bad) that might make some uncomfortable, more blood sharing, and more than likely, more sex. Haha. So just read at your own discretion. You can always just skip the parts you don't like! :)

With that said, thank you so much to my reviewers, and happy reading! :)

Oh, and one more thing – if you guys have any questions, I'll be happy to answer them! Just put it in your review and I'll address it in the next chapter! :) And please do review! They are actually really helpful and I do consider suggestions and criticism! :)

Enjoy!

* * *

Push  
Chapter XI: The Truth

_I'm not calling for a second chance  
I'm screaming at the top of my voice  
Give me reason, but don't give me choice  
'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again_

-James Blunt, "Same Mistake"

* * *

_The person beneath me struggled fiercely, desperately clawing at my chest, attempting to alleviate my weight from their body. The fight was in vain, though. I had always been the stronger one and there was no question about that. I positioned myself so that one leg was on either side of his waist._

_I knew she was getting a rise out of this. She liked to see others struggle – mostly me, mind you, but tonight it was a bit different. Our usual game had changed tone. I couldn't help but feel pity for the person beneath me._

_Don't get me wrong – it had been enjoyable for him at first. I had been very gentle. A soft kiss here, a light caress there. But the change had come with a slight incline from her head. We had only briefly spoken of it, but she had made it clear that if I followed through with the desired plan, I would quickly become the favourite one, perhaps even the chosen one._

_I don't know why I was so strong tonight. It may have been her blood in me, but if that were the case, it was the first time I had really noticed the effects. I smiled crookedly at my prisoner, then, tracing my tongue along the hollow of his throat, pressing my hips tighter to his. _

_I trailed my hand along the fabric of his blood stained white shirt, then down to the cloth of his trousers, touching him lightly. I really didn't know why he was begging me to stop – it's not like I was hurting him terribly. I had become a little rough, a little bolder, maybe, but nothing too violent. I had only changed my way because that's how she liked it. Most of the time, anyway. She liked to play hard._

_A pang of guilt shot through me when he whimpered softly. No, he wasn't begging, but it was a sound of pure discomfort. His hand was fisted in the fabric of my own shirt, seemingly frozen there after he realized that he couldn't win the fight._

_I took that hand, unclenching it, and then forced him to slide it up my shirt. "It's okay," I murmured. He seemed to stop for a moment, contemplating the situation, and then flattened his palm against my heated flesh._

_He rested his hand there, splayed against me for a few moments and then moved it in slow circles. I let my head fall back, relishing in the touch. It felt so nice that I momentarily forgot how twisted the situation was. But then his low, soft voice brought me back to reality._

"_Damon, please get off me," Stefan whispered._

_I looked down at my brother, whose face had always been like an open book. Right now he was truly uncomfortable, and despite his eagerness to comply with all of Katherine's wishes, this one was pushing an invisible boundary of his. I smirked. Saint Stefan was feeling a bit rattled, was he? He did no wrong, always so concerned about where his soul would end up. But since we had met Katherine, the "good" side of Stefan had been drowning slowly._

_We would stop at nothing to please her, but tonight he was having a difficult time playing along._

_Well, Stefan, I thought sarcastically, taking sexual pleasure from your brother, no matter how little, isn't going to put your soul in any place good._

_Knowing that Katherine was watching, I leaned down and whispered sultrily in his ear, "You like it, Stefan."_

_He turned his head away, his pale face flashing with warmth. "That's hardly the word I would use," he responded drily. I supposed he didn't necessarily have to 'like' my ministrations in order to be aroused. Touch could be a purely physical thing, with no emotion attached to it at all._

_I reached out a hand and then turned his face back to me. I lowered my face inches from his and whispered, "Liars are sinners, too." Satisfied with his mouth hanging agape, I climbed off him and returned to Katherine, who was lounging in a chair on the other side of the room. _

_I did a quick check in the mirror behind her, slicking a hand through my tousled hair, and then I turned and offered her my hand. "Shall we to dinner?"_

_She smiled widely, barely glancing over at Stefan, who was buttoning his shirt back up and fixing his own hair. "I would be delighted, Mr. Salvatore."_

_Little did I realize, she was stripping me of humanity piece by piece while I was still human._

* * *

I looked at Elena, quirking my eyebrow. "You really think that Damon is still here?" I rolled up the sleeves of my sweater carefully, puzzling over his strange disappearance and Elena's sudden connection to him. God, the sun was warm today. I wiped my arm over my face.

She regarded me strangely for a second and then said, "Stefan, are you all right?"

"I'm fine...but uh, can we go stand under that tree or something? The sun is a little too warm for my taste at the moment." I didn't know why it was especially irritating today, but now was definitely not the time to be falling ill to sun-sickness.

"Of course, Stefan," she said and took my arm, guiding me into the shade.

"Much better," I murmured.

"Do you think I'm lying?" Elena asked suddenly.

I felt my eyes widen and I shook my head. "No, Elena. I think you're right. Something's not right here. I've always had a deep connection to Damon, but when I sought him out with my mind this morning, all I felt was a soft...fuzz. I don't know how to explain it. It's like when you're flipping through radio stations and you're not quite on the right frequency. There's that buzzing of nothingness, but other sounds sneaking through, too."

"I had no idea you guys could do that," answered Elena. She looked distressed, twirling and tugging at her hair, brushing her hand over arms.

"Yeah. Even before we were turned we were able to do things like that. I guess it was something we were born with," I said, sighing. I was trying to be calm, but now I was starting to get really worried. I looked up and saw Elena's eyes, catching her off guard for a moment.

I felt something cold settle in the pit of my stomach when I saw the look on her face. Worry and fear, yes, there was that. But there was something else I saw there, too. Something I only saw when she looked at me or her family.

_Love_. It was plain as day, etched into her features as she fidgeted nervously.

The block of ice in my stomach grew colder. "Elena," I began hesitantly, "did you go somewhere last night after your encounter with Isobel?"

Her head shot up and guilt flashed across her face. She quickly tried to school it, but it was too late. One of my enhanced abilities was that I could read people easily, no matter what they were feeling. And I almost always knew if they were lying. Elena opened her mouth to lie, but I cut her off.

"You were with Damon," I said simply, feeling my shoulders sag. I didn't know what they were doing together, but I could make a pretty good guess, judging by the look on Elena's face.

Elena didn't deny it, hurt welling up in her eyes. "Stefan, please let me explain." She reached out and touched my cheek, but I just hung my head and the breath came slowly out of my mouth. I wanted to feel angry, but all I could feel was crushing disappointment and the full weight of it pressing down on me.

"What's there to explain?" I said a little more harshly than I intended.

"_Everything_," Elena said gently, wrapping her arms around me. She pulled me close to her, but all I could smell was Damon. Underlying the scent of her strawberry body wash and peach shampoo...was Damon. My heart twisted painfully in my chest.

"Why?" I whispered. "Why did you do this Elena, especially knowing our history? If you wanted to be with him, you could have just said so. I would have left immediately. This is a pretty strong way to tell someone you don't want them!" I wanted to get away from her, to run away, but I couldn't. Not as long as she was holding me.

"Stefan, I love you and I do want you. But last night...I realized that I've been fooling myself. I'm...I'm in love with Damon, too." She buried her head into my chest when she said the last part. I felt the tears running down her face and I couldn't stop my own.

"You cheated on me," I accused, anger flaring in my chest.

"I know," she said, and then she broke down, her quiet crying now full-blown sobs. "I know, Stefan. And I didn't want to hurt you like this but it felt so right...and oh, my God. I'm just like Katherine." She gripped my sweater tightly.

I froze, startled. And a realization hit me. I lifted her chin so I could look into those soulful brown eyes. "Nothing you could do could _ever_ make you like Katherine," I said fiercely. And it was true. They may look alike, but they were nothing like each other. Elena was _good_ right down to the bone.

"I'm so sorry, Stefan. I love you so much, but I'm confused right now." She rested her head against my chest again.

I summoned every ounce of forgiveness I had left and nodded. "We'll figure it out," I said softly. "But right now...right now we have to find Damon," I forced out.

Elena nodded, looking almost surprised. Probably because I still wanted to find him.

"We can talk about this in detail later." Elena had been right – there was a strange uneasy presence in Mystic Falls. The more I concentrated on it, the more I felt it. And it wasn't good.

"Okay," she said softly. "Let's find Damon."

I took her hand and squeezed it tightly.

_Yes, let's find Damon_, I thought bitterly, _so I can tear him limb from limb when we find him._

* * *

In all of my life, mortal and immortal, I had never been in as much pain as I was in now. I could feel my life force draining slowly away from me. Blood dripped from me – surrounding me, drowning me, and clouding the little vision I had left.

I desperately wanted it to be over.

I wanted to just _die_.


	12. The Message

Push  
Chapter XII: The Message

_Light up, light up  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you, dear_

-Leona Lewis, "Run"

_

* * *

_

"_I'm sorry, Stefan," I murmured softly to my brother. We were sitting in my room, on my bed. Katherine had just left to go attend to some "unfinished business," as she had politely put it. But we knew better – someone was probably going to end up dead before the night was through._

_Stefan didn't say anything. He had his head in both his hands, eyes closed. I could see the slight tremor going through his body. There were two puncture marks in his neck where Katherine had bit him. When she was finished, she held Stefan tightly and gestured me to come over. Carefully, she tore the tender skin wider and insisted that I drink, too._

_The only person I had ever taken blood from up until that point was Katherine._

_Stefan had been terrified when I set my mouth to his neck. His entire body had stiffened and he had tried to get away. But Katherine had not cared – she had held him there despite his soft protests. I only took a little bit – it's not like I could draw it out like Katherine could, anyway. But it was enough to set Katherine on edge._

_And even though I was human, I completely understood what she meant when she said that Stefan's blood was 'pure.' There was the slightly rustic taste, but it had only taken seconds for something overpoweringly sweet to fill my senses. _

_When I had finally pulled away, Stefan's neck was bloody and bruised. I had turned away in guilt, knowing that I had probably helped accelerate the bleeding in his wound. Katherine said something in his ear and then very gently pressed some white material to his neck. That's when she announced that she was leaving for a while._

"_Stefan," I tried again, reaching out and touching his shoulder. He flinched, and finally looked up. His eyes were dark as he regarded me._

"_Why do you always hurt me for her?" he asked, his voice clouded with sadness._

"_I..." I didn't have an acceptable answer. I let my hand fall away. I didn't think I was hurting him, and besides, I was only complying with Katherine's wishes. Isn't that what he wanted, too? To please Katherine?_

"_Damon...you drank my blood," he stated simply, his green eyes meeting mine sharply._

"_Katherine wanted me to," I whispered, feeling guilty and ashamed that I had caused my brother so much pain._

_Stefan stood up and I jumped to my feet, too. He regarded me for a moment, and then with his free arm, he pulled me into a crushing hug. "Sometimes, Damon, you need to think before you act," he said into my shirt. There was something off about his voice._

_The hug may have seemed like a sweet gesture, but his grip was tight and with his free hand, he was digging his nails painfully into my back._

_The message wasn't, 'I know you're sorry, I forgive you'; it was 'If you ever hurt or humiliate me again, you're going to regret it.'_

_I didn't want to cause Stefan pain._

_But I knew that I would do anything Katherine asked, no matter how disturbing the request._

_I stood up straighter and pulled his arm down to his side, gripping more than necessary. My love for Stefan would not come before my love for Katherine; that was one thing I knew for sure. And the more I thought about it, the bolder I became._

_Stefan gasped in pain at my grip but I didn't let go. Instead, I leaned close to his ear, my lips almost touching it._

_He gave an involuntary shiver and I smirked._

"_You can challenge me all you want, Stefan, but you'll always be on the losing side," I murmured softly into his ear, before letting his wrist fall to his side._

_Satisfied with the distraught expression on his face, I moved to walk away from him, but was promptly tackled to the hardwood floor. I gasped as I hit it. Stefan, with a surprising amount of strength, flipped me over and sat on my chest - and then proceeded to beat the hell out of me, pummelling me with both of his fists. Blows landed to my face, neck, and shoulders, and for the entire world, I couldn't get him off of me. His bout of anger and adrenaline gave him power that held me stationary._

_I tried to raise my hands to at least protect myself, but it was impossible. He slammed them back down onto the floor. He didn't even seem to notice that he had reopened the wound on his neck._

_He was crushing me with his weight and I felt trapped. I struggled to get out from under him, but all he said was, "I'm not done with you," and continued to hit me. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, but couldn't have been more than five minutes, Stefan released me. He got up and I thought he was going to leave, so I stood up, too, my legs shaking. My nose and lip were bleeding and I could feel my eye swelling._

_But then I was slammed into the wall by Stefan, so hard that my original painting of James Whistler's 'Symphony in White, No.1' rattled and nearly came straight off the wall. A cry of pain escaped my lips, but Stefan just smirked as he leaned in real close and set his lips to my neck. "Believe me, Damon, if given the opportunity to tear you open..."_

_I closed my eyes, feeling his teeth nip at my skin._

"_...I wouldn't. Because I'm not like you." I opened my eyes, and found myself looking back into his, the animal in his eyes gone. His expression had softened considerably but he was still breathing hard from the exertion of kicking my ass._

_I trembled, thinking I was going to collapse, but he held me up._

"_I love her, too, but please Damon...doesn't lose you." He let go of me and gave me one last lingering look before he turned around._

"_You better fix yourself up before Father sees you."_

_And then he was gone and I was left to drown in misery._

_

* * *

_It didn't take long for Elena and I to spot Damon's car, parked on the side of the road by the woods. The entire ride had been uncomfortably silent. I was still thinking about how she had betrayed me by sleeping with my brother.

But she did love him – that much was true. It still didn't make it right. Especially since I knew that she loved me, too.

I sighed and pulled my car over and parked behind his. Despite my anger, my worry was increasing. Elena and I got out of the vehicle and began to look around. She stopped suddenly, gazing into the trees. The sunlight of the day streaked through them, giving them an ethereal look.

"Stefan," she said softly, "Damon's in there. I can _feel_ him."

I raised an eyebrow. If he was in fact in the woods, then I should have been able to at least sense his presence or smell him. I moved closer to Elena, and after some hesitation, took her hand in mine. "Then I guess we should go in."

We walked through the woods slowly and carefully, and we were really beginning to get in deep when I smelled it.

Blood - and lots of it.

I sucked in my breath and Elena looked at me worriedly. "What is it?"

"Blood," I whispered. "The scent is overpowering." We walked a few more paces until we came to a clearing.

Just as my eyes came to rest upon the heap, Elena let out a terrified scream.

My brother lay crumpled on his side, motionless in the dirt. He was soaked in his own blood, his clothes torn. Cuts marred his face and dirt streaked across his alabaster skin. The dark hair stuck to his forehead in a bloody mess.

Elena was choking back sobs before she even got to him. She dropped to her knees in the dirt on one side, while I did the same on the other. "Damon!" she whimpered.

I could smell the vervain radiating off of him, so I proceeded carefully as I pressed two fingers to the base of his throat. I was greeted with a murmur so soft that it could hardly be called a heartbeat.

"Damon," I said quietly, trying to reach his mind with mine. His eyebrow twitched slightly as I brushed my hand carefully over his cheek. Elena had taken one of his hands and was holding it tightly. At least the person who did this had been _kind_ enough to leave his ring on.

This immediately clued me in that they did not want him dead – that perhaps they were only sending a message.

I felt my features harden. I may not be on the best of terms with Damon most of the time, especially right now, but whoever did this was going to pay dearly. And when I found them, I fully intended to send a message of my own.


	13. The Torment

Push  
Chapter XIII: The Torment

_Stories untold, of redwoods grown old  
Reside in the forest  
And there you can hear a whispering tear  
That speaks into our loneliness.  
_-Future of Forestry, "Speak To Me Gently"

_

* * *

_

_My lips met Damon's in a soft, but powerful collision. I had him pinned against the wall, my body pressed into his. What was different about this, though, was that Katherine was nowhere in sight. As a matter of fact, she was out of town. And I found myself completely unable to resist my older brother._

_My mind and body were overcome with lust. I was surely going to hell._

_He gasped quietly, but didn't protest my bold advances. I had to have him. I had to touch him, feel him. It was driving me half mad. I could barely recognize my own actions as I ran my fingers through his dark locks, kissing him furiously, forcing my tongue into his mouth._

_I pressed my hips against his and he moaned softly. "Damon," I said, my voice clearly dripping with lust as I lowered my lips to his neck and began to kiss him there. My hands found the buttons on his shirt and I began to undo them, raking my nails down his chest as I did so._

"_Ah...Stefan," he appraised. He hooked his fingers through the loops in my pants and pulled me closer, hooking one of his legs around one of mine. We were so into each other at that moment that we didn't hear the approaching footsteps._

"_Hello, gentlemen," said a sultry voice behind us, "just what do you think you're doing?"_

_I jumped away from Damon, startled. "Katherine..." I began._

_Katherine smirked at me. "Who knew you had such a devious side, Stefan?"_

_I opened my mouth to say something, but was cut off._

"_It looks like you boys are going to need to be punished."_

* * *

"I'm going to have to carry him," Stefan said softly to me. I backed up as he lifted his brother carefully off the ground. Damon's head lolled to the side and then came to a rest on Stefan's chest. I saw him swallow hard. I realized that it must be difficult for Stefan to even be near Damon, with two things working against him – the scent of the blood in general and the vervain with which it was tainted.

I was about to ask Stefan if there was anything I could do to help when I saw Damon's dark lashes flutter. His eyes opened briefly, and piercing blue met mine. He reached up a hand to grip Stefan's shirt. I saw his lips move but didn't know what he said.

All I know is that Stefan stood completely still, his facing suddenly going blank and turning completely white. I felt panic go through my body and I moved closer to the two. "What did you say?" I asked Damon gently. It was taking all of my strength not to continue on sobbing just at the sight of him.

"Katherine," Damon repeated, and then his eyes rolled up into the back of his head and he was unconscious again.

I felt every ounce of strength drain out of me as I regarded the men I loved - one dealing with mental repercussions, and the other dealing with physical. Their pain caused tears to stab at my eyes. Katherine would pay.

* * *

After we made it back to the boarding house, I had managed to strip Damon, peeling off his blood soaked clothes. I had carefully rinsed the blood away and then I laid his nude form on a blanket in the middle of the living room and began to dress the wounds. He was still unconscious and his injuries weren't healing. Beside me I had four blood bags ready to go. He had to be awake to drink them, though.

Even though I knew that Elena had seen him naked, I was still uncomfortable as she helped me. It was an all too painful reminder of their shared intimacy and it cut through me.

Satisfied that most of the bleeding had stopped, I dressed him, but left a shirt off. The worst of his injuries were in his chest area, with one particularly grotesque bite wound to his thigh. Some of his injuries were clearly made in the height of some passionate exchange, but I couldn't imagine that he would be doing such things with Katherine.

_Katherine_. What the fuck was her game? I knew that she was around because of Isobel, but what did she want with Damon and why did she have to go to such drastic measures? I grit my teeth, but was startled out of my thoughts when Damon scared the hell out of Elena and I, disturbing the silence.

He shot up from the middle of the floor, gasping. The force of this action had reopened one of the injuries to his abdomen and blood seeped through the gauze. His blue eyes were wild as he glanced around, as if looking for something.

Elena was by his side immediately, shaking him gently, trying to get him to stop hyperventilating.

He took one look at her and his eyes widened in fear and he tried to back away from her.

I gripped my brother by the shoulders. "Damon," I said firmly, "it's Stefan and Elena. Calm down."

His face contorted and then he shuddered, his hand gripping my forearm. "Stefan," he said in a voice I had never heard before. He looked terrified and the dark circles under his eyes only accentuated his look."Stefan! We have to go with her or she's going to take her!" He shook. "Please. Please!" His voice cracked and he was on the verge of sobbing. "We have to leave now!"

"Damon," I said gently, moving my hands across his shoulders in a gentle circles, "Damon, it's okay. You're just in shock. I need you to calm down. Listen, you've lost a lot of blood and you need to take some right now." I held out a blood bag to him.

He only ignored it and let go of my arm and buried his face in his hands.

_What the hell happened to him? _Never in my entire life had I seen Damon this vulnerable and this shaken up, and despite my resistance, it tore at my heart.

"Damon," Elena's soft voice cut through my thoughts. She had lifted his head up and was cradling it between her hands. "It's okay."

Damon lifted his head slowly and gazed at her, his blue eyes clouded over with pain.

Carefully, Elena wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. "You're safe with us. I promise."

He trembled in her arms, trying to hold himself together. I saw the moment he gave in; his body relaxed and he slowly returned her embrace.

When they pulled away, he turned to me, his eyes still unseeing.

"What the hell happened, Damon?" I questioned carefully.

He took a deep breath and reached a hand toward the blood bag. He opened it and began drinking deeply.

I noticed Elena still had a hand on him as a gesture of comfort and even though I knew that this kind of nurturing attitude was in her nature, it still pained me, now that I knew the circumstances.

I waited for Damon to regain his strength so that he could tell us his tale.


	14. The Witness

Hi all! I'm glad you're enjoying the story! : ) It has received a massive number of hits, so I know you're reading it (or taking one glance and deciding it's God-awful! :P) In any case, _please_ review! Thanks everyone and enjoy your weekend – I will try to get the next chapter done within the week!

And if you like this story, check out my other one, _Shadow Dance _(same characters but a lot more sadistic and dark)!

Onward!

* * *

Push  
Chapter XIV: The Witness

_Tell me what you want to hear  
Something that were like those years  
Sick of all the insincere  
I'm gonna give all my secrets away_

-One Republic, "Secrets"

_

* * *

__I stood over the two sleeping boys, watching their chests rise and fall rhythmically, the moonlight cascading down their peaceful faces and bathing their partially nude bodies with renewal. _

_Stefan's head was tucked under Damon's chin, his arms folded in and bent slightly. His wavy hair framed his handsome face, casting slight shadows over his eyes and cheeks. The lips of his slightly parted mouth just barely touched the sleep-flushed flesh of Damon's throat._

_Damon's slightly tangled thick, dark hair spilled around the pillow. He had one hand resting under his head, and the other lay motionless against one of Stefan's hands. His dark lashes fluttered slightly as his lips parted and he exhaled softly. _

_Stefan and Damon Salvatore were truly beautiful, and even after all I had done to them, they had managed to maintain an overwhelming aura of innocence. I sighed softly and sat on the edge of the bed, closest to Stefan and touched his warm cheek. He would not awake, for I was compelling them both to sleep deeply._

_Sweet Stefan, with his dazzling green eyes and charming smile...how could I have not fallen in love with him? He was young, yes, but he had a wise mind. I hadn't planned to fall in love with him. And the moment I realized it was when he said it to me. He was only meant to be a tool to satisfy my plans and frustration. But when those words fell from his cherry-red lips, without any compelling on my part...my heart had begun to beat madly against my chest and I knew I wanted to be his._

_Mischievous Damon, with his full-lipped half-smirk and serious blue eyes, was the complete opposite of his brother. Impatient and naive, I had quickly found myself strongly attracted to him. Despite his constant need to show-off or run his mouth, the twenty-three year still radiated purity. Or...at least he had. More and more lately I had seen it slip beneath the surface, especially when he was competing with Stefan for me._

_I loved them both. But I was __**in**__ love with Stefan, and Damon had become a bit of minor inconvenience, so starved for affection. _

_I flinched at my own thoughts. I supposed I might be that way, too, if my father beat the hell out of me and constantly analyzed me in accordance to Stefan's actions._

_Damon kept the beatings a secret from Stefan, because he knew how much the younger admired their father. But I had seen the bruises on Damon's cheeks, arms, hips, legs...the violence knew no bounds, yet Damon continued to take it like a man. So while I was not in love with him, I admired him, and it did pain me to see him hurt._

_I continued to absently graze Stefan's cheek with my thumb. And now, I had awakened them to some serious desires...the lust that they felt for each other, and the undeniable chemistry between them. Part of me felt guilty about it. The way they kissed, touched, and caressed one another...well, that was something strictly forbidden between any pair of siblings. I shuddered._

_But there was something about their unbridled lust that kept me coming back for more. Maybe I had corrupted them._

_I moved quickly and suddenly I was on Damon's side, the creamy white skin of his neck exposed at the perfect angle. I dropped my hand down to his hair and ran my fingers through it. He unconsciously leaned into my touch. I skimmed my palm down his face, and it came to rest on his jaw line, which was darkened slightly from what looked to be a particularly harsh blow. I sighed and bent down slightly to kiss it._

_And then I flashed a self-satisfied smile down at them, swinging my dark hair over my shoulder, absently combing my fingers through it. I fully intended to spend the rest of forever with them, and luckily, they had both been willingly drinking my blood._

_No one was going to stop me from being with them, not even Stefan and Damon themselves._

_

* * *

_

"Katherine kidnapped me," I told Stefan and Elena, my voice coming out hoarse, "and she tortured me. I thought she was going to leave me alone after that...but she didn't. She...she...completely lost it at my defiance to cooperate with her."

Stefan was standing, pacing back and forth, while Elena held my hand. I could barely look either of them in the eyes – Stefan, because I had betrayed him – _again _– on the deepest level; and Elena, because I left her without an explanation.

Maybe if I hadn't left I wouldn't be in this position in the first place.

"What did she do to you, Damon?" Stefan asked. His green eyes were resting on my face, but I could barely make my way through the smouldering anger I saw there. I didn't know who the anger was for – me, Katherine, or Elena? Maybe all three of us.

"She tortured me until I died, Stefan. _Over a_nd _over _and _over _again," I ground out, shuddering. Elena tightened her grip on me.

I saw sympathy flash in his eyes. "What are we going to do about Katherine?" Stefan asked, head bowed.

I grit my teeth.

I knew exactly what we were going to do about Katherine.

Nothing.

We were going to go to her and do as she pleased.

* * *

_Katherine drove the stake in and out of my body several times, until I screamed, blood dripping from my mouth._

"_Repeat what I just told you!"_

"_I'm...I'm going to kidnap Stefan and bring him to you...or...or else you'll do exactly to Elena what you've done to me." Tears stung at the corner of my eyes from both the physical pain and the pain of the act I was about to commit. "I'm going to get Stefan alone and bring him here, and once that's done, Elena will be safe."_

_Katherine's lips curved into a smile. "Yes."_

"_Please, Katherine, don't do this. You can do whatever you want to me if you just leave them alone!" I was out of insults and anger, and was being forced to resort to pleading._

"_That's the thing, sweet Damon – I don't want you."_

_I let out an anguished cry as her teeth grazed my neck and she bit hard._

_

* * *

_

"Damon?" Stefan said softly. He was shaking my shoulder.

I snapped out of my thoughts.

"We won't let her get away with this."

I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, nodding.

_I'm sorry, Stefan..._


	15. The Abuse

Push  
Chapter XV: The Abuse

_Do you want to see  
The place where I was free?  
'Cause in my mind I need it  
But you're nowhere near to me_

-Augustana, "Twenty Years"

_

* * *

_

_I stood before my father, white linen shirt sticking to my slightly damp skin with the mugginess of the summer evening. My full-length grey trousers only added to my discomfort, and I honestly could not wait to be out of this study and into my own bedchamber, relishing the slight breeze that would drift from my window and cool my heated body. With one hand, I pushed my dark, damp hair out of my eyes and with the other, clutched my copy of Nathaniel Hawthorne's _The Marble Faun_._

"_What have you called me here for, Father?" I asked, shifting uncomfortably. He usually did not wish to see anyone in the evening, for that was when he did most of his work._

_Giuseppe said nothing, tapping a quill thoughtfully on the oak desk for a few moments. He then set it down and rose, studying Édouard Manet's _Boy Carrying a Sword, _which was hung perfectly centered on the wall to my right. He carefully took off his reading glasses and set them on the desk and then he turned his body, focussing his cold blue eyes on me, clearing his throat before beginning._

"_You and Stefan have been spending far too much unsupervised time with Katherine Pierce," my father told me sternly. His voice was light, but I knew that he was completely serious from the shadows that clouded his eyes that were so much like mine._

"_She's our friend, Father," I replied stiffly, clutching the book in my hand tighter. _

_He sighed and then came around the desk so that he was standing directly in front of me. I lowered my eyes and focused on the rug underneath my feet, but was forced to look up when he clapped a hand on my shoulder. "Do not disobey me, son. Limit your time with that woman. There is something strange about her."_

"_Why do you speak first to me? How come you're not speaking with Stefan, too?" I questioned defiantly, holding my head up. I knew that such back-talk was unwise, especially when it came to this man._

_Giuseppe tightened the hold on my shoulder. "I do not appreciate your ignorant tone, Damon. I am your father and you will obey me. I will deal with Stefan, too – when I deem it fit. Do you understand?"_

_I sighed. Of course, Saint Stefan wouldn't even be called in. He would slip away unnoticed – the angel of the family, my father's pride and joy. A bitter taste rose up in my throat but I swallowed it back down. "I understand," I murmured, and assuming that we were finished, I turned away, but Giuseppe suddenly grabbed my wrist._

"_What is __**that**__, Damon?" Giuseppe demanded, his teeth grinding together as he yanked me closer and gripped me tighter._

"_What are you talking about?" I asked, thoroughly confused._

_He pulled at the collar of my shirt and snapped it downwards. I felt heat instantly flood my cheeks as he regarded a rather large and swollen red mark on my neck. I thought I had covered it up sufficiently, but the heat had probably caused the collar to slip downwards. "I cut myself shaving," I lied quickly._

_Giuseppe snarled and grabbed me by the fabric at the front of my shirt and attempted to pull it down more, but was unsuccessful. "Remove your shirt, Damon."_

_I attempted to take a step backwards, but he held fast and shook my arm, causing me to drop my book on the hardwood floor._

"_Now, Damon," he growled. He let go of my arm and watching me as I slowly pulled the shirt over my head and tossed it to the floor. I looked up just in time to see his eyes light up with raw fury. I knew without looking that he was observing the various red bite and scratch marks that covered the expanse of my chest and abdomen._

"_What are those marks?" Giuseppe said, voice dangerously low and calm. _

"_They're...they're..." My brain froze as I tried to stutter out a believable answer._

"_Have you been engaging in sexual activities, boy?" He had moved closer, towering over me. I could feel the rage radiating off of his body._

"_Father, I –"_

_He slapped me hard across the face. I felt my cheek grow red. "Don't you dare lie to me, Damon! How dare you defile the purity of your body in the name of lust! How dare you defy God with this ludicrous sinning! You disgust me. If I find out it was that Pierce whore, I swear to God I'll – " He stopped suddenly, clenching his teeth. Apparently the punishment was to be so horrible that he could not even speak it._

"_It wasn't her, Father...it was...I was overcome..." I didn't know what else to say, but I knew undoubtedly that I had to protect Katherine._

_But he was right - it had been Katherine._

_And Stefan._

_I felt my knees go weak when my father turned away and strode toward his desk. He reached under it and produced the long wooden stick that I had become accustomed to over the course of my childhood. I cringed in fear, but I would not back down._

"_Hitting me won't change what happened," I said angrily._

"_No, but it will make me feel better and perhaps teach you a well-needed lesson." He was close to me again, gripping the stick tightly. He brought it down squarely across my shoulders, drawing blood right away. I watched felt the blood trickle down my back, and then saw it drip onto the cover of my book._

_I felt the stick again, this time across my back. I threw my head back in pain, but I made no sound._

_I never made a sound._

_

* * *

_

Elena had fallen asleep on the couch. I was still in the middle of the living room floor, pondering how I would lure Stefan out of the house. I would have to inject him with vervain, no doubt about that, but right now my strength was diminished. Perhaps I would be able to accomplish the task later in the evening.

Stefan startled me when he touched my shoulder. "We need to talk," he said softly. I noticed that he had changed out of his clothes, probably because they had been covered in my blood. He now wore a simple black t-shirt and blue jeans. I, in the mean time, had thrown on one of my black button-ups, but had left the actual buttons undone.

Without thinking, I replied, "About what?"

I looked up just in time to see his green eyes flash angrily. "About how you slept with my girlfriend!" The pressure on my shoulder had increased considerably.

I couldn't meet his eyes. "It was consensual..."

"I don't give a damn!" Stefan snapped. "The fact that you did it in the first place - knowing our history, Damon - astounds and appals me, yet for some reason I'm not really too surprised that you would take the first opportunity you could to stab me in the back."

"Elena told me that she loves me," I blurted out.

Stefan stood there stiffly. "I know she does. But that doesn't make it all right for you two to do what you did!" His voice trembled, and I wasn't sure whether he was on the verge of tears, or plunging a stake through my heart.

I stood up weakly, running a hand through my tousled hair. "I didn't intend to fall in love with her. I'm not out to destroy your life, Stefan, and I swear, as soon as we deal with Katherine...I'll leave. I'll leave for good." What the fuck was wrong with me? When did I become such a sap, so easy to give in? As if it mattered – Stefan and I weren't leaving, if Katherine had her way.

I took a step forward, intending to pour myself a strong drink, but the pain in one of my legs stopped me dead. I would have fallen if Stefan hadn't caught me. His held me stiffly, one hand pressed to my back, the other pressed to my waist.

Stefan exhaled deeply. "Are you okay?" It didn't seem like he even cared at this moment, but he was, after all, a saint.

My head was pressed close against his chest and I could suddenly _smell_ him, that overwhelming scent that I knew to be distinctly Stefan.

* * *

"_Damon, hold still. You're only irritating the cuts." Stefan was behind me, gently rubbing oils onto my sore back. We were in the cool sanctuary of my bedroom. I hadn't wanted him to see, but unfortunately, the blood had seeped through my shirt after Giuseppe had made me put it back on._

"_Father believes that there is something suspicious about Katherine, and from this point forward, I think he'll be keeping a closer eye on her...and us," I murmured to my younger brother._

_Stefan stilled his hand for a moment, and then began applying the strips of white gauze across my back and shoulders. "I still can't believe that Father did this..." He sounded like he was in genuine disbelief, but then again, I would be, too, if no one had ever laid a hand on me in my life._

"_Yes," I said quietly. "He saw the...the marks on my neck and chest." I winced as Stefan pressed one of the bandages particularly harshly to the open cuts. He didn't say anything as he finished, but moved himself so he was sitting beside me._

"_I'm sorry," he said heavily. His dark brows were knit together in thought, as he began to absently caress my arm. His hand was soft and reassuring. "I don't want you to suffer like this, Damon."_

"_I'm fine," I said stiffly._

_He carefully slid his arms around me and pulled me close, and I let my head fall against his shoulder. He didn't say anything as his fingers ghosted over my flesh. I shivered, enjoying the cool touch of his hand a little too much._

_His cotton shirt smelled of sandalwood and citrus. I found myself inhaling deeply, taking comfort in the scent of my brother._

_But even in this loving moment that we shared, dark thoughts began to whirl around my head, and I turned my musings to the subject of Katherine. It was then that something occurred to me. If I wanted to have a happy ending with Katherine, I would need to remove Stefan from my life...permanently._

_

* * *

_

"I'm fine, Stefan," I replied, slightly hazy with the memory. I took a deep breath. He still smelled the same as he did one hundred and forty five years ago.

He sighed softly, and helped me over to the couch, where Elena was sleeping. He gently pushed her feet to the side, clearing a space for me, and then lowered me down. I winced as pain shot through my body again. Why the hell did I still hurt?

Oh, wait – I knew the answer to my own question: Katherine was an evil, torturous bitch. I grit my teeth. I could honestly attest to hating her more right now than I had ever hated Stefan in my entire life.

"I need to feed," Stefan said. "I will be back shortly." He turned to leave and then hesitated. "Don't do anything stupid. And don't take your eyes off of Elena."

I had a witty comeback for that one, but it didn't really seem to be like the appropriate time to share it, considering how much I had hurt my brother, and how much he was able to keep his temper in check.

I watched him leave, sighing softly as I reclined into the couch.


	16. The Epiphany

Hello, all! Here is the next chapter – sorry it took so long! Speaking of which, I'm going to be pretty busy for the rest of this month, but I'm going to try my hardest to get chapter seventeen up next week! Thank you for your continued patience and wonderful reviews! : )

* * *

Push  
Chapter XVI: The Epiphany

_I look into your eyes_  
_Diving into the ocean_  
_I look into your eyes_  
_Falling_

_Like a wall of stars_  
_We are ripe to fall_

_And if you are a ghost_  
_I'll call your name again_  
_And if you are a ghost_  
_I'll call your name..._

_You, always_

-M83, "Too Late"

* * *

_I had my back flat against the headboard of my bed and Stefan, on his knees, straddled my right leg. He was looking down at me, his palms flat against either side of my head. The warmth of his body was terribly inviting and the more I thought about how he was holding me, the more aroused I became._

"_Are you frightened?" Stefan asked softly, green eyes probing mine carefully, searching for any hint of deception._

_My hand automatically went to my neck, to touch the twin puncture wounds that Katherine had left there. They were still bleeding. Katherine stood on the other side of the room, watching us intently, pale arms crossed. She wore next to nothing – a simple white slip. I could see the mischief dance in her eyes and I secretly wondered if she was compelling Stefan to do this or if he was doing it on his own free will._

_Last time she had forced him to let me drink his blood and the end result was him beating me up._

"_It's only fair, Stefan. I tasted your blood." I saw something flash in my younger brother's eyes as he lowered his mouth very slowly. My neck was still sore from the feeding, but then I felt his lips graze the spot, soft and warm. I shuddered. Stefan hid this dark, seductive side of himself well._

_I arched my neck slightly to give him better access and found myself gripping the material of his shirt tightly when he began to lap at the wound, his small pink tongue darting out to sample my blood. I felt his warm breath against my neck – it was driving me wild and I began to move my hips against his leg, raising myself up slightly to get better contact._

_Stefan made a strangled noise in the back of his throat and fastened his lips to that spot on my neck, sucking harder._

_My eyes fluttered closed. It hurt a hell of a lot, but the small shivers of pleasure that moved through my body were well worth the pain. I moaned softly when he grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked my head back, exposing my throat even more._

_I felt myself losing control as I gripped his shoulders tightly. "Yes, Stefan" I encouraged through grit teeth. I heard Katherine chuckle softly in the corner. She truly enjoyed seeing us like this – writhing and pleading. It was so wrong._

_But we couldn't stop._

_A few moments later, Stefan lifted his head up and brushed my hair out of my eyes, panting softly. "Delicious, Damon. That's how you taste."_

_With his shirt partially unbuttoned and his wavy hair in a state of disarray, Stefan looked like any woman's scandalous dream._

_Or mine._

_My breath hitched when I noticed his eyes. The green of them ebbed and pulsed slowly as they moved over my body._

_I felt my heart sink. Katherine had been compelling him._

_As if she heard my thoughts, she moved to the bed and detached Stefan from me._

"_Sleep, Stefan," she whispered in my brother's ear. He gazed at her for a moment before sinking back into the pillows and closing his eyes._

_She crawled over to me and resumed the position Stefan had been in._

"_Now, Damon. We have to discuss the details of this plan." She smiled fully and lowered her mouth to mine. "I fear we don't have much longer."_

_I swallowed my fear as she began to trail kisses over my body._

_

* * *

_I woke up a little while later and slowly sat up, stretching my exhausted limbs carefully. My foot hit something soft and I saw Damon fast asleep on the other end of the couch. His head was tilted back and his lips slightly parted as he breathed in and out deeply. A few strands of his raven hair had fallen over his face, casting shadows over his high cheekbones. For once, his face was relaxed – no scowl, no smirk, no ironic curve of the lips – just peace. He was incredibly pale – more so than I had ever seen him, but for some reason, it just made him seem vulnerable, like he needed to be taken care of.

I felt my stomach clench as I studied him. Even in sleep, Damon Salvatore was the most erotic person I had ever laid eyes on.

A slight jolt passed through me as I recalled our evening together. That was the only other time I had seen him so exposed and so open. I glanced out the window and the light of the moon caught my eye. It was so dark outside and I found it hard to believe that these events had happened in a mere twenty-four hours. I felt slightly overwhelmed.

I swallowed hard when I recalled that he had tried to erase my memories. _Why_? Even if we couldn't be together, even if we were doomed...I never wanted to forget him. His smell, the feel of his body against mine, and the way he finally gave himself over to me. I choked back the tears that were threatening to come.

I sighed sadly and looked across the room and noticed that a fire burned brightly in the Salvatore fireplace, giving the boarding house a warm, secure feeling. I didn't see Stefan anywhere – I assumed that he had left to hunt. He hadn't been very strong lately and I had urged him, on several occasions, to just take my blood. But he didn't trust himself, given the events of a few weeks ago. So I started taking vervain – I told Stefan and he didn't seem to mind – even said it was for the best. He clearly didn't trust himself.

I pushed back the blanket that Stefan had placed over me, and moved carefully so that I was right beside Damon. His breath was still coming in warm, rhythmic puffs and I found myself yearning to be close to him again. I hesitantly reached out a hand and trailed my fingertips over his cheek.

His eyes flew open and he jerked away slightly, clearly startled.

"It's okay, Damon. It's just me," I whispered. I didn't know why I was whispering – maybe because of the serene atmosphere of the house. I resumed stroking his cheek lightly. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," he replied softly. He was looking at me kind of funny, his eyes slightly troubled. God, he looked tired...and _used_. I didn't know if that was the proper adjective but there was something in those blue eyes that spoke volumes of heartbreak. He seemed confused at all my loving gestures – after all, he was still under the impression that I had forgotten everything from the night before.

"Damon," I began, gently, not knowing if this was the right time to bring this up, "I remember. _Everything_."

His eyes widened and for the first time that I had ever seen, he seemed to be at loss for words. He gripped my hand on his cheek and forced it down. "What?" he said, his voice displaying a full range of disbelief.

"I've had vervain in my diet for about a week now," I said slowly, trying to gauge his reaction. "I don't know why, but something in me was telling me that I should do it. I thought maybe it was because of Stefan's struggle with human blood, and that I was just protecting myself...but that's not it at all. I love and trust Stefan completely. I knew there must have been another reason, one that I didn't know, but could sense." I felt my eyes unintentionally harden.

He swallowed hard. "Elena," he said, taking my hands in his, his voice coming out tight and constrained, "I..."

I searched his eyes, doubt creeping up my spine. "What, Damon? Did you just _use_ me, then?" I find myself gripping his hands tightly. "Is that why? You wanted to sleep with me and then make me forget, so that you could fulfill your own desires?"

"No!" Damon whispered harshly. "No, Elena. I...I don't _deserve_ you, don't you understand? If you were aware that I was trying to compel you, didn't you hear all the things I said to you?" He was biting his lower lip in worry – a very un-Damon like thing to do.

"Well...yes," I murmured, recalling his whispered words. "But..."

"But _nothing_, Elena! I love you – but I _cannot_ take you away from Stefan." Damon finally lowered his eyes and I noticed that his lashes were glistening slightly.

Something in me had been rising up and it finally bubbled to the surface as tears spilled over my cheeks. This situation I was in...it broke my heart. How could I be so selfish to love two people the same way, without considering the repercussions? There was absolutely no way it was going to work out for everyone in the end.

Damon looked up, startled as he touched his hand to my face.

"No, Elena," he murmured, pulling me close to him. "Please...don't cry." He stroked my hair softly as I sobbed into his shoulder. He was so warm and solid and real and despite what biology indicated..._alive_.

I loved Stefan.

I loved Damon.

And if I knew what was good for me – for _them _- I would let them _both _go.


	17. The Surrender

Push  
Chapter XVII: The Surrender

_Give it all to you  
Reaching as I fall  
It's already over now  
Loving you again_

-Red, "Already Over, Pt. 2"

* * *

I returned from hunting, feeling satiated as I walked into the living room. Damon and Elena were both still on the couch; however, Elena was now tucked safely under Damon's arm, head nestled in the crook. Her face was content and I heard her breathing in and out deeply. One of her own arms was wrapped around his waist.

Damon looked relaxed, too, his mouth open slightly, not a crease or worry on his forehead. I had honestly not seen my brother look so at ease before, and despite what had just happened to him, he was the epitome of peace.

With that said, though, I wanted to walk over there and tear them away from each other for what they were doing to me. My insides churned in discomfort and anxiety as I took a few steps forward. I couldn't lose Elena to Damon – that was unacceptable.

When I reached Elena, I gently tapped her wrist.

Her eyes flew open in surprise and a look of guilt passed over her features. "Stefan," she whispered softly, "I...we were just talking and..." She trailed off and sighed deeply. Surprisingly, Damon had not yet awoken.

"It's okay," I said, my heart heavy. I probed her brown eyes gently, wondering if my own green ones reflected the pain that I was feeling on the inside.

She looked at Damon and then at me...and took my hand into her own, and tugged me towards the other empty space on the couch.

I swallowed hard and shook my head. "I..."

"It's okay, Stefan" she murmured.

I sighed heavily and sat down next to her, eyes fleeting cautiously over my sleeping brother. He may have been asleep, but no matter what Damon said or did, I would always see him first and foremost as a predator – a force to be reckoned with.

Though, arguably, this new found love he claimed had begun to change him.

Instead of moving away from Damon, she pulled me closer to the two of them. "Stefan," she said, stroking my hair, encouraging me to put my head on her shoulder, "I _love_ you. Just close your eyes...and trust me. We all need rest, and if we stay together like this...we will be safe."

I sighed softly. Even though I had just fed, I felt wary as I complied and rested my head against her shoulder, trying to ignore the fact that Damon was on the other side of her, monopolizing the space. I just wanted to protect her - keep her safe - and that was becoming very difficult lately.

Elena continued to lightly touch me until all I saw were dreams.

* * *

I opened my eyes when I knew that Stefan was asleep. Elena's head was still in my arm, and Stefan's head had dropped against her shoulder. His arms were folded, feet flat on the floor – and despite being asleep, looked totally and completely serious.

They way they looked...it made what I had to do considerably harder, but my number one priority was Elena. I got up quietly, carefully disentangling myself from Elena, wincing at the soreness of my body. I was certain most of Katherine's abuses had healed, but there was stiffness in my legs and chest as my hastily-thrown-together plan repeated itself in my head.

I quietly walked to the end table in the hallway and opened the drawer and took out the vervain syringe which I always kept stored there, just in case.

I moved towards Stefan, the plunger behind my back. His eyebrows were knit in worry, but he was still asleep. I tapped his shoulder gently with my free hand and he awoke, slightly startled. I gestured for him to follow me into the corridor, putting a finger to my lips to indicate not to awake Elena.

Stefan hastily followed me, glancing back at Elena. "What is it, Damon?" He regarded me with suspicion, and I didn't blame him.

I closed the distance between us, crushing him to my chest, knowing that I had surprised him with my recovered strength. I felt his body stiffen against me, and before he could pull away, I plunged the vervain into his back.

His green eyes went wide with shock, but he couldn't speak for I had tripled the dosage...just to be sure.

I held him up, stroking his hair, and then whispered into his ear, "_Fidati di me, fratello. E'per il meglio._"

"_Per favore, Damon...la amo...ti amo..._" His voice trailed off as he went limp against my body. I picked him up easily and looked back at Elena.

It wasn't the best plan in the world and I didn't want to leave her alone. But leaving her alone would be a thousand times safer than us staying here with her, biding our time. I knew that Stefan wouldn't have come so easily, and Elena would have gotten in the way, trying to pull off the self-sacrifice charade.

I tightened my grip on Stefan's limp body. No, Elena could not get hurt, could not get more caught up in this than she already was. We destroyed her life and she deserved to have it back.

It was time to face Katherine.

* * *

"_Shhh, Damon. I know it hurts, love." I was holding Damon against me, gently stroking his hair and up and down his fevered forehead. The poor boy had succumbed to fever and chills earlier in the evening, having displayed numerous symptoms of illness over the course of the past few days. Damon was strong and I knew he would be fine, but I was still worried._

_I relaxed against the pillows and shifted. Entirely nude, save for a sheet pulled up to his waist, Damon lay helpless in my arms. I could feel the tenseness in his muscles. I'd been slightly surprised when I discovered that he was sick; apparently my blood wasn't enough to ward off this particular illness._

_I could feel, in this moment, some innate instinct to protect take over. I didn't know where it came from, but it was nearly suffocating me. I didn't want him to hurt; I didn't want to hurt him._

"_Katherine," he said, his chapped lips moving slowly against my skin, "I think I'm going to...to be...sick." He tried to move so he could lean over the bed but I stopped him, gently stroking his dampened hair._

"_Just breathe deeply, love; don't think of it," I whispered softly. His flesh burned underneath my fingertips and I frowned in discontent. What was making him sick?_

_He groaned softly and I leaned down to kiss his forehead._

"_I'm sorry, Katherine. I know this is not how you wished to spend the evening," Damon said roughly, his voice barely above a ragged whisper. He lifted his head slightly to look at me._

"_Hush, love. You have nothing to apologize for." I locked gazes with him; his beautiful blue eyes were slightly misty and red-rimmed. I pulled him closer to me. "I shall not leave your side until you are well."_

_He shivered against me and leaned his head on my chest. "Stefan...is he sick too?" _

"_Stefan is fine...if he becomes ill, I will take care of him, too. Shh, Damon. You need to sleep..." I gently stroked his hair, loving the feel of it between my fingertips as he leaned into the touch. I knew why I suddenly felt protective of him and I had to swallow hard to keep my own sickness in my stomach down._

_The need was indeed innate – it was a motherly instinct. I had not thought of the child who had been ripped from my arms in a long time. But tonight...I did, and it was what was driving me to care for Damon. _

"_Slumber is calling you; can't you hear? Slumber will give you presents, my dear," I sung softly to Damon in my native language – Bulgarian. I knew he couldn't understand but just saying the words seemed to make him feel better. He turned into me, like a small child, his eyes fluttering softly._

"_Az ne vŭznameryavat da predpriemat nevinnostta si," I murmured softly._

"_I love you," he murmured as I continued to soothe him._

"_I love you, too," I returned._

_And I meant it; even if it wasn't in the way he wanted me to love him._

_

* * *

_

I could hear Damon approaching the house as he walked slowly up the driveway, each footstep falling to the beat of his own death march. I smiled to myself, wondering how he could be so upset – didn't he realize the fun we were going to have for the rest of eternity?

I sauntered toward the front door, pleased with the old house I had taken up occupancy in. It was in the middle of the woods, far from civilization. The house was pure Victorian, probably built around 1855. I liked it because it reminded me of a time when, for the most part, things in my life were stable.

By 1864, I had already spent centuries running from an unknown force to be reckoned with – Klaus. And when I met Stefan and Damon, they took away that fear, if only for a little while. I could not let them go – they belonged to me.

I opened the door just as Damon was climbing the steep, white stairs. He had Stefan slung unceremoniously over his shoulder. I smiled at him and beckoned for him to come in. He did, but he looked extremely wary.

"I brought him, Katherine," he said coldly, blinking his ice-blue eyes up to meet mine. "I don't know what you want with us, but you had better leave Elena alone."

I ignored his threat. "Put Stefan there," I said casually, flicking my wrist toward a sofa. "When he awakens, we will have much to talk about."

Damon wearily placed Stefan gently on the sofa. "What do you mean, Katherine?"

I stepped toward the man I had broken over and over again, placing a solitary finger at his full lips. "Hush, Damon. All you have to do is trust me." I smirked and leaned forward, replacing my finger with my own lips, and forced him into a bruising kiss.

This was only the beginning.

* * *

_Fidati di me, fratello. __E'per il meglio _[Italian] – Trust me, brother. It's for the best.

_Per favore, Damon...la amo...ti amo... _[Italian] – Please, Damon...I love her...I love you...

_Az ne vŭznameryavat da predpriemat nevinnostta si_ [Bulgarian] – I did not mean to take your innocence.

_Slumber is calling you; can't you hear? Slumber will give you presents, my dear _– Part of a Bulgarian lullaby I found online.

If you happen to speak any of these languages, I'm sorry if I butchered them – had to use an online translator! : )

Anyway, I know I haven't updated this story in a long time – got caught up in other activities and working on my other fics.

But if you're still reading...would love you to review and let me know what you think! : ) And yes, it does have an end. As a matter of fact, I wrote the end first and that's what sprung this whole story back in May in the first place! It's just a matter of what goes in between. : )

I know parts of this story seem crazy, but if you've been reading from the very beginning, you should understand some of the external and internal forces which have driven the characters to act and react in the ways that they have. : )

Anyway – I hope you are all enjoying the holidays!

Until next time! : )


	18. The Beginning

So...I haven't updated this fic since December. Haha, I really don't know what happened. I had a really busy semester at school, and then when I was writing in my spare time, I was writing other. fics. But, with that said, there are only two more chapters left of this one – and yes, I will finish it. If you're still reading, I just want you all to keep in mind that I've had the last two chapters planned out since I started writing it _last_ year – so any similarities between this and the show are purely coincidental!

This chapter switches POVs a lot, but it's pretty obvious who's speaking. ; )

Anyway, if you're still reading, _please _leave a review – and if you're new, you should leave one, too! Oh, and I'm taking new story suggestions - of the one-shot variety. I don't know if it will actually happen, but I like to get the creative juices flowing! So if you have an idea, feel free to share. : )

Happy reading!

* * *

Push  
Chapter XVIII: The Beginning

_Become the champion of the known and the trust.__  
__Embrace the strength of one,__  
__Decide what can be done._

_Corrupt the worst of us,__  
__Capsize the sinking love.__  
__Forgive them from the star.__  
__Command with a melting heart._

_Begin, be not afraid.__  
__Fall in, the day is brave.__  
__Remember what has happened in our past,__  
__So much is happening right now.__  
__So much can come,__  
__So much will come.__  
__So much can come._

-Brendan James, "Begin"

* * *

I shoved Katherine away from me, wiping my lips with back of my hand. "Don't ever kiss me again," I threatened, barely contained rage coursing through my veins. I felt like she was slowly poisoning me – body, soul, and mind – so that I could become her puppet to bend to her will. She had already used me more times than I could count and I was near my breaking point. I rested my eyes on Stefan for a moment, guilt eating away at me.

Katherine simply smirked at me, letting out a low, melodious laugh; in seconds, though, she had me shoved up painfully against the wall, the length of her arm crushing my throat. I sputtered, trying to escape, but my attempts were painfully weak. She had centuries of strength compared to me.

She slowly edged her arm away and then whispered dangerously, "I will do _whatever _I want to you, and you will have no choice in the matter. You will do as I say or there will be _dire _consequences." She flicked her cold brown eyes over my body. "You belong to _me_ and I will _possess _you as I see fit."

I was silent for a moment. "Just don't hurt Elena...don't hurt Stefan," I pleaded softly. I had never begged for my own life, but I would beg for theirs if it was necessary.

Katherine made a small sound of disgust. "When did you get so pathetic? God, you're practically trembling. You know what, Damon? You and I would have made quite the team had that little human not corrupted you. Love makes you do stupid things." I saw her flick her eyes over to Stefan momentarily. "And in the end, you only get hurt."

"I certainly know that well enough," I hissed at her. "You took everything I had and then literally left me for dead. There was a time when I would have done _anything _for you – without you _making_ me. And you want to talk about corruption? _You _corrupted _me _– and Stefan. You ruined our lives, you selfish bitch!" I finally spat, keeping my eyes locked on hers.

She stuck her lips out in a mock pout. "Oh, my – it seems you have some deeply rooted issues, Damon. But didn't you know? Vampires can turn that off – and I know you did, as you ripped your way through New York City during the second half of 1864."

"You made me that way," I snarled.

"No," Katherine whispered heatedly, leaning in close to me, "you _chose_ to be that way."

* * *

I awoke to an empty house, thoroughly confused, especially since Damon and Stefan had made such a big deal about protecting me. As I stretched my limbs and walked around, I could sense that something was not right. I furrowed my brow in confusion and then bit my lip softly as tears stung the corners of my eyes.

"Why did you leave me here?" I whispered to no one, suddenly frightened. I stood in the middle of the boarding house, trying to decide what to do. What if they had only gone out to hunt? That would make sense. But I could feel something else in the air – a kind of tense electricity that was slowly crackling, urging me to do _something_.

I didn't know how, but I _knew _that they were in danger. I found myself walking out of the house and towards my car, almost as if drawn out by some unseen supernatural force. I shook my head to clear it and then grit my teeth in determination as I slid into the driver's seat. I didn't know what was going on; I just hoped that if they were together that they could take care of each other until I found them.

* * *

I came to groggily, my head pounding, as the events of the evening slowly started to come back to me. I blinked and tried to sit up, my body like lead. I managed to focus on the scene in front of me: someone had Damon pinned against the wall, and she appeared to by whispering heatedly into his ear.

I shot upwards, a burst of adrenaline igniting my veins as I remembered that Damon had drugged me with vervain. I didn't understand what was going on, but I intended to find out why my brother would drag me into the middle of nowhere with a stranger.

I slowly got to my feet and started walking towards them, but neither one seemed like they could be distracted from their conversation. "_Hey_," I snarled lowly, coming closer. "Damon, what the _hell _is going on? Where's Elena?"

The brunette holding my brother hostage turned around slowly, and smiled at me.

My eyes widened in surprise. "Elena?" But then I recalled who was sure to be at the bottom of this – the girl who had taken me for the love-struck fool that I was one hundred and forty-five years ago. Understanding dawned on my brain and I saw Damon's angry expression in the background. "Katherine," I whispered, her name falling from my lips like the devil she was.

"Hello, Stefan," she greeted serenely, stepping towards me. She cocked her head to the side, her curls dancing across her shoulders. "I've missed you."

* * *

At last, I had my boys in one place and I could _finally _start putting into motion the plan that I had been formulating since I learned of my doppelg_ä_nger's existence. I took another few steps towards Stefan, searching his pale face for any hint of emotion at seeing me. I saw none that I wanted to see – only anger and confusion welled up in those green eyes which I had loved so much long ago.

"What's going on?" Stefan growled at me. He flicked his eyes towards Damon. "And why did you drug me earlier?"

"I had to," Damon said fiercely, "it was the only way to protect Elena."

"Don't fight, boys," I chided softly. "Because – as it turns out – Elena's a lot more vulnerable than you might have thought."

A heavy silence enveloped the room, only to be interrupted by the sound of the door bell.

I strode toward the door, turning around only to smile at Damon and Stefan. "It looks like our guest of honour has arrived."


End file.
